So long and thanks for all the monkeys

SnowLeopard submitted 470 days ago

Several years ago, I was hired by a major electronics retailer in their service department. Unfortunately, a bunch long-time employees got some (well-deserved) pay increases, but it didn't quite make it into the budget correctly. Subsequently, all new full-time hires were cut down to 16 hours a week. Ouch!
I tried to enjoy working for the company, and even was optimistic that my hours would be increased soon. I attended the employee gatherings where plastic toys were thrown out and even got excited about catching a Barrel of Monkeys game.
A few weeks later, the stores buddy-buddy general manager called me at home, trying chat me up and be all casual (because apparently general managers call all the time just to talk...). Eventually he got around to asking me if I would like to come in to have a little chat with him. I wasn't feeling too generous, so I point-blanked him. "I'm getting fired, aren't I?"
"Fired! No! You are an excellent employee! We would NEVER fire you!"
"Okay, laid off then. Whatever you call it, I don't have a job."

Mr. friendly general manager meekly said in the phone "Why don't you just come in later today and we'll talk." and hung up.
I showed up later that day and he called me into his office where a "corporate observer" was sitting. He gave a nice long talk about hard times and company layoffs and such, and that he "really hoped I had something good from this experience." (he wanted me to gush about how great of a time I had being an employee).
I looked at him and deadpanned "Well, I guess there were the monkeys"
The corporate observer looked shocked - "...Monkeys?"
The general manger put two and two together and tried to recover. "Oh yea, the Barrel of Monkeys! That was great! I'm glad you had a great time at our company events! We always had so much fun!"
"Yep, that's about it. The monkeys. Thanks." and I walked out.
However, I fared much better than my co-worker who had been there for years - they laid him off while he was on his honeymoon! OUCH!