Boss returns from vacation to discover his yard has become hobo-camp
OK, so it never really happened, but I spent a lot of time planning how I would have done it. I suppose elaborately planned but never pulled off pranks can never be as funny as those that have actually been played, but I will freely admit that I just didn't have the balls to do this one. The very reasons I so wanted to pull a nasty prank on my boss were also what made me too nervous to do more than daydream and talk about it at length.
This could be better appreciated if you ever worked for, or even met, the colossal prick who was my boss for four years, but since that's unlikely to be the case, just trust me when I tell you that he truly was one of the worst possible bosses you can imagine. I know everyone says that, but I've had a lot of bosses and none even approached the levels of assholery that this guy attained. He was filthy rich, cheap beyond belief, paranoid, quick-tempered, rude, hostile, smarmy, dishonest, sneaky, and quite possibly more than a little crazy. He was also really short. Not that this is bad in itself, but when you already hate someone, other things begin to annoy you.
Despite being an incredible tightwad (if you misprinted a 10 cent label, you had to be sure it was sufficiently buried in the trash can so that the multimillionaire would not happen upon it and ream you for the mistake), he did enjoy taking expensive vacations with his family- though not before having hours-long arguments with airline representatives so that he could be sure he was getting the best possible flight deals. Because he was loathed by everyone in the office, his vacations were sort of vacations for us as well. So word of upcoming trips tended to spread quickly.
When I heard about a planned two-week vacation in Greece, I got to thinking about what I could do with an old, leaky 8-person tent that I had been meaning to throw out. What if the loathsome dwarf returned to discover that a band of homeless people (which this city has no shortage of) had brazenly decided to take up residence in his backyard? I told a coworker about this idea, initially thinking only of erecting the old tent, but then we started getting creative. Why not make it look as though the bindlestiffs had built an entire camp? We could dig a latrine pit (and maybe use it a few times for added realism), string up a clothesline and hang disgusting old clothing from it, strew various food and drink containers (especially empty cans of cheap beer) about, spread out a couple lawn chairs, and really give it a lived-in feel.
And since we wanted to give the impression that that new residents were insane and possibly dangerous (in case the fact that they moved into someone's backyard wasn't enough), we decided that putting a waffle iron on an old desk and then plugging the waffle iron into the dirt would be a nice touch.
I realize that ultimately, this prank would have accomplished little other than forcing the asshole's housekeeper or gardener to clean up a bunch of garbage. BUT- for a few moments- a few delightful moments- he would have returned from his vacation, tired and bedraggled, and maybe glanced out the back window as he waited for his wife to make his breakfast, and then all hell would have broken loose. "WHAT THE FUCK," I like to think he would have exclaimed. "What gave these people the IDEA that they could move into our yard? I mean just what do they think they're DOING??"
I wish, both for the sake of the story and for the fond memory it would provide me with, that I could say I had actually carried this out. I guess I could have lied and said I did, but really, how would I have set up a tent and all the "camping accessories" in a rich guy's backyard without anyone noticing? And it was a small office- if the wrong brown-noser found out, I'd be fired AND in legal trouble all at once. So while the idea gave me and my pals quite a laugh, I just couldn't see the risk being worth the reward. Still, there are times when I wish I'd held onto that tent...
Submission ID: 480
Add this link to...
Tell a friend
Comments
ok, so after reading this i was inspired, i work as a cook under and insane chef.... and well even at his worst won't reall hold a prank against you... but other than that he's an ass
well i did this exact setup... tents, latrine, camping shower.... bigscreen TV that no longer works plugged into the outlet we hung on the fence (no real connection), a couch and even gave a homeless person $50 and enough food to stay for 3 days.
2 days after my boss returns from vegas he hadn't mentioned it... 4 days nothing... day 5 i find the tent and bigscreen shrinkwrapped to my car... and the homeless dude with a note that says "Mess with the best die like the rest".. which is a quality quote from the movie "Hackers"....
now i need to know what i'm gonna do next to him
a blog about everything...
http://adelineblognumber1.blogspot.com
reply me as soon as possible.
regards,
adeline
adeline_780@yahoo.com
my blog:http://adelineblognumber1.blogspot.com