Fired for being a friend and sharing feelings
I am a mother and women in my mid thirties who just got fired for being a friend and sharing feelings.
You guessed it. I was good friends with a gal who owned a small biz along with her mother in a small town. These two women are very loud and boisterous and not afraid to say what is on their mind at you in public, most of the time it is rude and insulting behavior on their part. They have lost many customers and don't have many friends because of their personality.
Regardless, I choose to forgive and forget the negative and remain a friend to this girl, whom I found out, all along probably never was one in the first place.
Her and her mom would live for vicious gossip and would proudly stick their face into any situation so they could turn around and give their loud, rude opinions to everyone else in the community.
About 6 months ago my friend had a baby, whom she did not plan and does not want. She has made that clear. My friend helps run a family farm along with her brother and dad and has this biz on the side that her mother does ALL of the work at while she give the ORDERS that is it.
She has her baby stay with her mother every day for the entire day. Not at all exaggerated, this girl does about 3 hours of work a day that is it. The rest of the day she sits and eats bon-bons at home or at her biz. She has been like this forever, but her and her mother make her out to be this "super hard working women who has NO time for anything".
After her child was born she pretty much gave it to her mother to raise while she continues to do nothing with her life. Her mother looks after the family, runs a biz and cooks for her biz, does all the extra work for the biz, and now is expected by her daughter to have this child along with her at her biz every day.
Last year, it was extremely hard to serve customers and be a good employee while also expected to look after a new born. Most days the mother of my friend would leave this baby with me at their biz to look after him myself while the mother would leave and i would be alone to look after everything on my own. The mother would make rude comments like "i should be able to handle it, as that is why I am getting paid the big bucks".
Minimum wage........ :cool:
Customers would get upset because they came there for the environment and here was this screaming baby that their waiter had to look after while also serving them. The owners would give this kid to their customers to look after and thought this was totally acceptable....where I felt it was really wrong.
Many times last year I tried to talk to them about this but they would laugh it off like it was no big deal and they said they did not care what people thought.
The place annually closes for a few months each year....and the mother of my friend has become more and more boisterously miserable by the day. She Not my friend, but the mother, would call me almost every second day and demand that i look after this baby. When i would say I was busy and could not, the mother would go around the community and bad mouth me.
The mother and my friend treat everyone like we are supposed to be at their beck and calling.
This got worse and worse and the mother became more and more miserable to the point I could not take it any longer.
I decided to go talk to my so called FRIEND about what had been going on.
She is the mother of this baby and a friend...I did not think there was any harm in sharing with her my feelings.
I was also very concerned about going back to work there in a couple months and being expected to raise this, now very active, baby while also being expected to run a biz alone. I also was NOT interested in raising this child for my friend and am not interested in being a babysitter. For anyone. My husband and I have three of our own children to raise.
So I very politely explained to her my feelings. Told her what was going on with her mom, and that she would demand I babysit or get mad and that I was not interested in being a babysitter, that I have a full life of my own with three of my own kids to raise. I expressed to her that I found it very hard looking after her baby while at work, all alone.
Her reaction???? :eek:
Basically...........if I want a job, suck it up. She did not care about my feelings and she said that she was SO BUSY, she needs this help from other people for her child.
I explained that was her choice, but that I was not interested in being his sitter in my SPARE time and I said to her quote "not trying to tell you how to run your biz or anything...that is your choice....but I just wanted to tell you I found it very hard looking after a baby all alone, while serving 30 customers daily - it was impossible".
She spazzed out on me, and said she did not need to hear this right now and that she was SOOOOO upset with me and that I was FIRED.
Did I mention, that I got fired when this place was not even open and I don't think I got fired for anything JOB related....or did I miss something here???
What is even more alarming and has got me WORRIED, is these very big loud boisterous ladies will take great pleasure in black-balling me 100 miles around the globe. Infact.....I got a nasty email from this "friend" of mine a day after this happened saying.....
"you better hope my mother forgives you one day, because you will never ever get another job around here....my mother knows a lottttttttt of people".
I kinda took that as a threat and found that very hurtful and uncalled for on her part.
I am very interested in hearing some of your opinions on this one. I am deeply hurt and upset by my friends behavior. I felt in my heart it was the right thing to do. If you are a true friend to someone you should be able to talk about things and work things out. Apparently I was wrong and I had two choices.....i could either not say anything and keep running a biz alone and rising a baby for minimum wage with no empathy...or I could try and talk this out with my so called "buddy".
It is not like I am starving and need to work at this place....but I do not need to get black-balled either, especially for something that is not job related.
Do you all think I did the right thing here and do you think I deserved to be fired for it?
Submission ID: 457
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I wouldn't worry about your ability to find a new job. Just because people may know these women does not mean they like them, let alone believe what they say.
She sound like the boss who fired me, because I did not do personal favors for her.
You were to patient to put up with that kind of abuse as long as you did. Good luck perhaps you should consult a lawyer.
I think you did the right thing, absolutely! You did NOT need a job like that. They would probably have found an excuse to fire you over something else. No "true friend" would have treated you like that. You are right, true friends do talk things out and work toward a solution. Since these women are so rude and obnoxious, whatever they might say about you will be disregarded, most likely. As for the email that begins "you better", that cound be implied as a threat. I was once in a workshop called "Violence in the Workplace". It's not just physical violence, it's verbal abuse, threatening gestures or remarks, and threatening emails. You might consider consulting a lawyer if these women make slanderous remarks about you. Another thing to consider is what if the baby -- or toddler if he/she is walking now -- got hurt in some way while you were in charge? When my children were little and learning to walk, they'd always run into things or fall and get bruises or lumps on their head. If this child had gotten hurt, they'd probably have blamed it on you and called the police. So I think you're better off out of that situation.