He fired himself ...

Hotlinux submitted 606 days ago

I was running a software development team in London about 10 years ago. We had one team member who was a right pain in the neck. He would blame others for his own mistakes and used to encourage friction between the other team members. Under the UK laws you are not allowed to fire someone just because you and the whole team don't like them.

Early one monday morning I arrived in the office before every one else so that I could finish off a complex management report. However when I came to photocopy the report I found that the photcopier was jammed up inside with paper. I needed the report in a hurry and partially dismantled the machine to remove the offending piece of paper. When I uncrumpled the paper I found that someone had been sitting on top of the glass plate and copying their exposed anatomy. I reassembled the copier and printed off my reports, but later in the day checked on the office security system to see who had been in during the weekend.

It turned out that there had been a lady and also a guy. Well from the crumpled copy I could tell it was not the lady who had been "copied". By now you will have guessed who the man was that had come in over the weekend.
Clearly this was not absolute proof of who had been "wasting office stationery", as in theory it could have been the security guard. So I said nothing at the time.

About a week later I quietly circulated a copy of the offending image whilst the team were having after work drinks in a nearby bar. I just asked "if anyone could indentify" the offending anatomy that I'd found on the office copier, but said nothing more.

Two days later the guy in question stormed into my office angry and swearing saying that I was putting too much pressure on him. I innocently said that I had "no idea what he was talking about". Well he could hardly confess to being the phantom copier could he! As he stormed out of the door he shouted at me, in front of the rest of the team, saying "I quit." To which I replied "Accepted!"

Needless to say when I confirmed the details of his quitting with HR I made sure that they saw the crumpled copy. :)