Hockey guy backstabs second coach in 8 years First place and a spot in the Stanley Cup playoffs should be enough reason to keep a coach. Not the New Jersey Devils. Their general manager, Lou Lamoriello, punked coach Claude Julien just as the regular season was hitting its final week...

"He must have done something to [tick] Lou off," one longtime NHL talent assessor familiar with the New Jersey organization said in the wake of Monday's shocking news.

Lamoriello insisted there has never been any rancor between him and Julien, and indeed Julien will remain with the organization in some unnamed capacity.

'Unnamed capacity' usually means emptying trashcans and sorting mail for people who haven't been fired.

It's not the first time Unsweet Lou has given a coach the Ides of March treatment. He did the same thing to Robbie Ftorek in 2000 as the season was ending. When he did that, the Devils won the Stanley Cup with their new coach.

That would kind of suck for Claude. Work all season long just to see your boss step into your job at the finish and maybe get credit for winning it all, while people make fun of you and snicker behind your back.

No wonder Claude wasn't available for comment. No one would be able to publish the assorted obscenities and murder fantasies he'd be likely to spout into reporters' microphones.

Imus disconnected by CBS While Katie Couric will hang onto the anchor's chair and whatever Arbitron ratings she still has after tee hee reading her fake memories off the teleprompter, Don Imus will ride into the sunset. CBS has axed the shock jock from the network...

"From the outset, I believe all of us have been deeply upset and revulsed by the statements that were made on our air about the young women who represented Rutgers University in the NCAA Women's Basketball Championship with such class, energy and talent," CBS President and Chief Executive Officer Leslie Moonves said in a statement.

Hey Leslie, know what? You're a hypocrite. Everyone knows Imus is a dick. Everyone thought Katie was like, you know, a serious newsperson. If Imus has to go for offending the audience, Katie and her great legs need to follow the I-Man out the door too.

I wish I had an invite to whatever party Howard Stern is going to throw to celebrate Imus getting kicked off the air. You know that's going to be one rocking freakshow.

Swastikas don't make a friendly work environment When did Connecticut become an outpost of the Third Reich? I know they tax the hell out of people who live there, but government employees usually try to downplay any overt connections to pure concentrated evil.

Not Craig Whitcomb. He thought it would be just peachy keen to have an employee redecorate the workspace of another worker with the next level in harassing someone over hailing from the land of great beer and drool-worthy automobiles...

Town officials said Whitcomb ordered a parks department worker to paint a swastika on the desk of another worker.

"This individual is a second level supervisor. It's up to the town supervisors to set an appropriate tone for town operations. This incident certainly failed that test," First Selectman Jim Lash said Thursday.

Whitcomb had been accused of harassing Otto Lauersdorf, a marine division foreman, about his German heritage and Lauersdorf's union had filed a grievance on June 7.

The employee who did the actual painting got a letter of reprimand. Craig picked up a different letter from the city of Greenwich - a 'see ya, don't wanna be ya' type of letter.

Juvenile snickering more fun than the firing The story is generic enough. A million dollars (raise that pinky finger) goes missing and someone gets fired over it.

Happens all the time.

Not from an employer with a childishly giggle worthy name...

The Crotched Mountain rehabilitation center has sued a former employee who was fired after the center discovered more than $1 million was missing, and asserts that the worker's family was involved in the disappearance of the money, The Keene Sentinel reported.

Imagine being in social studies class, and it's newspaper reading day. The teacher reads this gem aloud to a bunch of 13-year-olds. "Excuse me, Mr. Garrison, but did you say Crotch?" "No, I said Crotched! Crotched! You go to hell! You go to hell and you die!"

Anyway, shouldn't it be Crotched Peak instead of Crotched Mountain? What if it was a valley? Or two perky mountains placed side by side?

Crotched.

Hee hee hee hee hee. I'm so stupid sometimes. If you don't get the hidden joke about the picture, look at its filename. Get it?

Fired? Better admit it It seems like everyone working today was fired yesterday, maybe even multiple times. Take the boss too literally at her word that Saturdays are "clothing-optional" and you'll be out the door even if you have all of your work done.

Being equipped like some prehistoric draft animal doesn't help, it just give HR something to highlight more easily in the security tapes during your "gross misconduct" appeal to the unemployment office. So I've heard, anyway.

There's a writer in Canada who says honesty is the best policy when it comes to talking about firings with the next soul-crushing company that interviews you. I'm skeptical, and you should be too, but here's what she has to say...

This may be the time to do a little soul searching. It is important to have an honest look at why you were fired. Recognize your part in it and avoid placing blame on your previous employer. Recruiters and hiring managers are more often looking for your "attitude" and how you deal with tough situations, rather than what actually happened.

Attitude means a positive one here, I think. Whiny biatches don't get second interview callbacks. Then there's this bit...

If you were fired because you did not get along with your supervisor, examine the best way to explain your side of the story, but in a way that does not make that boss look bad. If it was because of personalities, identify what they were.

That's important. Even if your last boss's idea of workplace motivation included screaming and cattle prods, you can't portray her in a negative way to the interviewer. Stupid isn't it, but that's how the world works.

Reasons to be bummed out at work Just in case raises that are less that inflation, endless meetings, numerous reports, and the usual band of idiots in management haven't ruined your day, here's a chunk of the Funtasticus list of reasons to be cynical, all related to your crummy, unrewarding job...

losing most of our day to meaningless work
having to play office politics
having to play golf with your superiors
the term “superiors�
the term “subordinates�
cubicles and other sensory deprivation cells
people who thrive in cubicles
people who thrive on 14-hour workdays
people who take their cell phones on vacation
“A� students who end up working for “C� students
“It takes money to make money�
“It’s not what you know, it’s who you know�
the “power words� used on resumes to impress employers
the fact that employers are impressed with power words on resumes
college graduates who have to settle for a job at Blockbuster
the salaries of liberal arts graduates in the business world
the miseries of liberal arts graduates in the business world
prostituting yourself for less than a prostitute makes
staying at a job you detest because the alternatives are even worse
people who get promoted on the basis of the right shoes or haircut
people who get promoted because they resemble their vice president
executive bonuses that exceed your annual salary
the “fast track�
the “glass ceiling�
being underemployed
being overworked
being reprimanded
being ignored
being framed
being demoted
being moved into the hallway
watching everyone but you rise to the level of their incompetence
the annual incomes of CEOs
the writing ability of CEOs
multimillion-dollar “golden parachutes� awarded to dismissed CEOs
the practice of terminating veteran employees a year before retirement
the term “terminating�
“leveraging�
“targeting�
“impacting�
calling downsizing “rightsizing�
downsizing profitable companies for the sole purpose of wooing investors
the fact that investors reward companies for downsizing
the fact that companies now exist primarily to woo investors
bonuses and stock options for executives who “trimmed the fat�

That's just the job-related chunk of the list. Depressed yet? Go read the rest. That'll do the trick.

OH NOES! Could Fred be doomed? Your humble blogger of tales of the fired, all 376 posts' worth of me, has been confronted with something so fearsome, so terrifying, that small children should leave the Internet now before I continue. Ladies, you might want to have a handkerchief ready.

Sachin wants to chat tomorrow. Not by email or IM either. By phone.

I don't have the words. Scary comes to mind when the nice person who approves my invoices says he'd like to talk.

Have I caused offense? Has some hapless, deserving target of my jibes turned out to have rich uncle with a sense of humor that expired around the time the last Marx Brothers movie hit the big screen?

Or, dear sweet merciful heavens, have I committed the ultimate crime? Have I been unfunny?

Am I about to be hoisted upon my own blog? Fired Fred Fired For Failing Funny?

Damn damn damn. I'd better make sure the ramen and the toilet paper has been stocked up. Thai takeout goes back to being a blissful dream instead of a semi-regular indulgence.

Maybe I won't have to give up cable. Ha. Who am I kidding?

Futon Of Love, get ready to absorb some more tears.

You know, in a way, this isn't such a bad thing. I could be attending Quinnipiac University, and editing the student paper.

Jason Braff may not be doing that for much longer...

The editor of Quinnipiac University's student-run newspaper has been told by school administrators to stop criticizing the university publicly or leave his post.

Jason Braff, editor of the Quinnipiac Chronicle, may "need to reconsider" his position at the paper if he continues to speak publicly against university policy, wrote Dean of Students Manuel C. Carreiro, the university's vice president.

See, Jason, that First Amendment thing doesn't apply to college papers. If the man, I mean the Dean, wants to hold you back, he can do it. Speak out on campus, get fired.

At least you don't have to worry about stocking up on double-roll two-ply, since the university restocks the bathrooms for you. I have to start comparing unit prices on the shelves at Ralphs again. Possibly.

Top 10 changes in Fred's life Well that chat with Sachin went well. I can't get into the specifics of course, except that I'm not as fired as I thought I'd be. However, as I expected, there will be a few changes at Fred Central.

10) Old DVD viewing plan: Netflix. New DVD viewing plan: standing around inside Fry's on the weekends to watch whatever DVD's on the display flat screens.
9) So long, two ply softness in the porcelain throne room. Yo ho, yo ho, it's single ply for me.
8) A lot more veggies in Fred's diet. Lots lots more.
7) And ramen. Especially ramen.
6) Beer? Ha haha ha. The only way a six pack of Harp's will get into my place is if there's a commercial for it on the Internet.
5) Rediscovering the library and hoping the normal daily allowance of perverts stick to the computers and stay away from the magazines.
4) Good thing sleeping's still free.
3) Sorry, I can't afford a whole top ten list.

Let's just say I'm feeling solidarity with the writers on strike in Hollywood.

Honesty honestly not the best policy Deny, deny, deny, or at least don't say it on television. All the fun on Fox's Moment of Truth, a program up to Rupert Murdoch's usual standard of high quality, may be a workplace death trap.

Answering some of the more...personally interesting questions...isn't much different than taking the last train to Firedville, population you. Check out this lawyer talking to Fortune...

Could these people be denied promotions, demoted or even fired for behavior on the job or off that's considered deviant? Perhaps, employment lawyers say. "What a person discloses is fair game for an employer to use, particularly with an at-will employee, and most people who work are at-will employees," says Howard Wilgoren, an employment lawyer in Boston. (An at-will employee, unlike, say, a union worker, can be dismissed at any point for cause or no cause at all, and is also equally free to quit.)

All I'm saying is if you're doing something with coffee besides drinking it from a mug, network TV may not be the best place to share it. Really, like, ick people.

Big mustache? That's a firing No idea if this epic stache belongs to Joynath Victor De or not, but if it does, it's what got him fired a long time ago.

Courts in India must move at the same pace the cows do. He got demoted in 1998 and fired in 2001 over the family tradition facial hair.

As Jim Rome would say, EPIC. Especially since he's had the mustache since 1968, when he joined Air India...

When his moustachioed woes were narrated by counsel Sanjiv Sen before a Bench comprising Justices H K Sema and Markandey Katju, it immediately issued notice to the airline and observed: "Can the size of moustache be a ground for dismissal in a democratic country? This is shocking."

Try reading this blog sometime, guys.

Image courtesy AFP

Searching for change in The Futon of Love

In all the firing stories, and all the posts, and every bit of silliness and outright stupidity I've commented on, I've always kept an eye on my own clock. Guess what? I'm moving on too, after 444 posts at Simply Fired.

A sabbatical from fired stories? A change in employers? A departure for parts unknown? Could be one of those.

Have no fears, oh consumer of fired tales. The cupboards have plenty of ramen, and I've stocked up some high quality TP. No one ever thinks of that, but believe me, one of the worst things to run out of when your resources are at an ebb is the comforting feel of a brand name bathroom paper product.

So rejoice, change is at hand. Stop thinking about the toilet paper, I'm done talking about that now. While you're thinking about jobs and employment, be sure to drop by SimplyHired.com for your job hunting needs.

Who knows? You could become the next mock-worthy fired story for tomorrow.

Peace and much love from the City of Angels.

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