Teacher tossed for seeking a little mermaid People with fond memories of school must have avoided the rampant undersexed pervs who all seem to have graduated from college with secondary education degrees and headed straight for the school system.

How stupid can someone be in propositioning an underage student? Check out the antics of Les Leonard and his attempt to satisfy some really bizarre urge...

The student reported that the teacher asked her to stay after class to pose with his guitar and asked her to put on the mermaid costume for a second photograph, a request that she declined.

Pearce asked Leonard to submit a written account of the events to the best of his knowledge. In that account reprinted in Pearce’s letter, Leonard indicated that because photographs from a recent event did not turn out, he asked the girl to pose in the mermaid costume to record the event.

In her reply, Pearce noted that the girl was not in the school’s chorus, so she had not been in the show; therefore, asking the girl to pose for such a picture was unjustifiable.

Did he want a picture of her because he thought she would have made a good mermaid in the chorus? Did he mistake her for the girl who really dressed in the mermaid outfit?

Maybe he's just a jailbait hunting asshat. Lecherous Les will teach in adult education now. I don't think he's going to ask some Cheeto-munching 40ish student to squeeze into Ariel's seashell and tail anytime soon.

Someone at Comcast's gonna get fired When I said someone would get fired at Turner over the Adult Swim fiasco in Boston, I was proven right pretty fast. Now I'm going to go out on a limb again and say Comcast in New Jersey will be interviewing job applicants real soon.

You see, someone got the pr0n mixed up with the Disney Channel. A mom and her kids apparently saw a much more graphic version of Handy Manny than they expected to see...

Jennie Sherman still can't believe what happened while she was watching the show "Handy Manny" with her two twin sons.

"We were just sitting here and the screen just froze and then all of a sudden I saw very graphic pornography on the television and I scrambled to get the remote to shut it off," Sherman told WCBS-TV in New York City.

Sherman said she immediately recorded the X-rated graphic video on her DVR. She then e-mailed wcbstv.com to report the shocking news.

Now that's a modern, Internet Age woman. If I was kicking back on the Futon Of Love and something like Desperate Naked Housewives IV came on in the middle of Little Einsteins, I don't think I've have the clarity of thought needed to hit the TiVo button at that point in time.

Who in the Wide World of Disney thought Handy Manny would be a great title for a Disney Channel show anyway?

Yankees fires dope over hammys Lots of people will want to give Boss Steinbrenner the credit for firing Marty Miller, the Yankees unqualified Director of Performance Enhancement. The old Boss is a shadow of his Billy Martin-firing self these days, so it's a lot more likely GM Brian Cashman got to show Marty the door and make up for hiring him in the first place...

A series of injuries, the latest coming last night when Phil Hughes tore his left hamstring, led to the ouster of Miller, who joined the team this season.

Several players had questioned Miller’s methods and his lack of experience in professional baseball.

The Yankees have a massive payroll this season, but they bring in a guy who's been teaching old ladies in a retirement community to dogpaddle in the pool or whatever it was he did. Then they start seeing players go down with serious hamstring injuries.

Then there's the job title – Director of Performance Enhancement. It's bad for two reasons. One, it spells DOPE. Two, everyone thinks steroids when they hear performance enhancement, so it sounds dirty.

Cashman needs to hire someone who can teach the Yankees how to stretch. A little Tai Chi wouldn't hurt, and if you think Tai Chi is just for the little old ladies working out across from Moscone in the mornings, you need to check out this dude.

Paris punts publicist This Elliot Mintz tried throwing himself in the path of justice to save Paris Hilton from jail for driving on a suspended license. The Simple Girl even tried pushing him in the way.

No dice, said the judge. Paris is going down.

When she comes back up for air at the end of her 45 day vacation at the Graybar Hilton, she'll have a new publicist. Poor Elliot has been dumped faster than yesterday's cellphone...

I told her that I assume personal responsibility for my part in this matter. I believe when stated in court that she believed it was o.k. for her to drive under certain circumstances she was being absolutely truthful. Due to this misunderstanding, I am no longer representing Paris.

I'd like to have an Elliot to throw himself (or herself, I'm an equal treatment kind of blogger) in the way of an incoming judicial bullet. Of course he didn't succeed in saving Paris from herself, so maybe I should rethink that.

Image courtesy of SplashNewsOnline.com update - And a day later, she's rehired Elliot. Weird, eh brah?

Fired guy can rule out makeup sex with ex-gal pal Politics may make strange bedfellows, but it also seems to make serious whackjobs of them too. The story of an ex-aide to an ex-Congressman makes this way too obvious.

Tad Furtado worked for Charlie Bass at some DC lobbying firm, because that's what Congresspeople do when they get kicked out by the voters, they become lobbyists. Tempermental Tad had been canned by Bass last September when they both had offices on Capitol Hill.

That last firing happened because Tad was astroturfing liberal blogs and got caught. This time it's because Tad didn't handle his breakup with an ex-girlfriend at all well. Read on and cringe...

Her complaint, on file in D.C. Superior Court, includes allegations that Furtado knifed every piece of furniture in her home, dumped vacation photos in the toilet and poured Tabasco sauce in her underwear drawer.

Among other charges, she claims Furtado poured bleach on her clothes, slashed her wedding dress and stuffed her washer and dryer with beer, yogurt, eggs and olives.

Also, he allegedly left broken bottles in her refrigerator and shattered glass on the floor.

Ladies, if you find this guy on HotOrNot or Consumating or someplace like that, you just might want to hit the Next button or something.

Gov't sponger Googled, fired File this one under "should have kept his mouth shut." CNET sez David Mullins claimed he had his rights violated when a government official looked him up on Google and found out about his two previous firings while deciding if he should be fired from yet another government job.

David was just a wee bit abusive of his privileges with NOAA in Indianapolis...

Some examples: Mullins worked in Indianapolis, but his government-issued credit card showed purchases of gasoline in Tennessee and Ohio. He admitted to unauthorized cash withdrawals from his government-issued credit card. He acknowledged forging travel documents (by sleeping in his car and then printing up fake hotel receipts).

He complained about the official looking up his previous firings by the Air Force and by the Smithsonian Institution. Those might not have come up, but the genius happened to mention to the official looking into his case that he had been through the process before.

That's kind of like helping the cop finish reading you your Miranda rights and acting surprised when he finds out you have a rap sheet longer than Snoop Dogg's.

Sting stung over chef sacking The one-time Police bassist and frontman didn't get a standing O from the courtroom, where Mister and Missus Sting got raked over the coals for firing their chef unfairly...

For the celebrity couple formally known as Mr and Mrs Sumner face having to pay record damages to their former chef for unfair dismissal after a tribunal found them guilty of "shameful conduct".

The husband and wife in question - better known as Sting and Trudie Styler - broke employment law by sacking Jane Martin, 41, after she became pregnant, the panel has ruled.

Missus Sting seems to be a royal bitch when she's not getting her eight hours of yoga sex from her melodic hubby...

In a devastating judgment obtained by the Daily Mail - due to made public today - Miss Styler is accused of using "subterfuge" to get rid of Miss Martin, and of using "minions" to do her "dirty work".

The employment tribunal had been told that staff at the couple's country estate lived in a climate of fear because Miss Styler subjected them to abuse to make her "feel royal".

This tribunal thing must be a European concept. Get fired in America, and you'd better have some deep pockets and a lot of time to spend on an unlawful firing lawsuit.

How much Chef Jane will get from Sting's royalties won't be known for a month. I bet I know what she was singing when she left the courtroom: "I will turn your face to alabaster/When you find your servant is your master/You'll be/Wrapped around my finger."

Middle finger, undoubtedly.

Image courtesy of The Daily Mail

Monica making trouble for the White House Talk about history repeating itself. This time around, there's no blue dress or humidor to discuss in the context of the Oval Office.

Congress has given ex-Alberto Gonzales aide Monica Goodling immunity from prosecution in exchange for her testimony about the firing of US Attorneys. As the Village News pointed out, she was one of about 150 graduates of Pat Robertson's evangelical law school that have ended up suckling at taxpayer teats.

Monica doesn't seem well qualified to decide who should or shouldn't be a US Attorney, but she may have been good enough to figure out who was and wasn't loyal to the Bush Administration. Quite frankly, if she was smart enough to squeeze an immunity deal out of this, her law school background may not be as useless as some want to think.

She'll testify about eight prosecutors who were purged from their positions before a slavering Congress that has conveniently forgot that the last guy who had to worry about a Monica fired every last federal prosecutor when he took office.

But hey, this is bread and circuses time inside the Beltway, with a Presidential election coming up not nearly soon enough, and a Congress that has an axe to grind with the executive branch.

That's her in the photo, found on a picture appearing on her alma mater's web site.

Canning The Apprentice? I want video They're talking about The Apprentice in past tense these days, just as NBC and the other networks try to extract billions out of advertisers for the fall broadcast schedule. I guess it's never too early to get those feminine hygiene commercials ready for prime time.

But The Donald's show may not be one of the vehicles to carry the latest in feeling-fresh advertising or whatever NBC dredges up for the fall lineup...

NBC will look at its competitors' schedules, then decide whether to bring back the reality competition.

Cancellation is "not news he will accept on any front," Reilly said of Trump. "He's good to go."

C'mon people, you're missing an opportunity here. There's got to be potential for a one-hour special where NBC decides whether or not to dump The Donald, his hair, or both of them, or even keep them.

They could bring back some of the more notable Apprentice participants, winners and losers, to talk about the behind the scenes stuff, while another camera crew follows The Donald through his work day.

At the end of the show, you'd have Carolyn Kepcher in the board room with Ivanka Trump and Omarosa sitting across from The Donald. He'd either hear, "you're hired, Dad," from his daughter, or "get out before I throw your ass out" from Omarosa.

I know I'd watch.

Georgia isn't sweet on golf coach Coaches of all sports take note. No matter how hot your student athletes are, no matter how comfortable you think they are around you, they just aren't into you trying to relive your carefree frat boy days.

Todd McCorkle wasn't asked to quit as Georgia's women's golf coach. But the very married now-ex coach built himself a tidy list of offenses that in the corporate world would have earned him the lawsuit equivalent of a firebombing...

McCorkle was said to have shared a sexually explicit Paris Hilton video from the Internet with the team. Players reported McCorkle shared remarks about bras and underwear color. Other comments were more explicit, referring to male anatomy. There was a mention by one player of inappropriate physical contact.

“He is randomly rubbing your back or flipping hair, or pat on butt — and otherwise not think anything about it — but with all the other stuff feels wrong,� the unidentified player wrote.

The dad of player Taylor Leon (pictured) was plenty pissed off at Terrible Todd. Daddy got the ball rolling, and once it became evident through a stack of documents that the coach was out of bounds a lot, he quit the squad.

He's going to help out his wife, who's a LPGA touring golfer. I bet that was a fun conversation when he got to explain why he suddenly had a lot of free time. Anyone else smell a divorce pending?

Photo by UGA

Cop hooked over seafood theft Sorry Charlie, but this Connecticut cop has been fired for looting a fish joint out of some prime crustaceans. Check out the rap sheet for this seafood lover...

The Police Commission Tuesday found Joseph Gambardella guilty of 15 departmental charges including lack of truthfulness, conduct unbecoming an officer, failure to submit reports, falsifying records and violating the departments code of ethics.

That's just the departmental stuff. He's looking at three felonies and two misdemeanors too.

Joey Bag O'Shellfish was a bad boy. They say he reeled in $900 bucks worth of shrimp and bagged lobster meat. No pollock or whitefish for our Joey, no sirree, only the best.

He'll have plenty of time to put his own lobster pots out now. The Madison CT police department fired him for satisfying his seafood jones without reserving a table like everyone else.

Teacher flunks at behaving nicely When the accounts of a teacher's time during a field trip to DC involve the words "drunken rampage," you just know there has to be a firing around the corner.

Yes indeedy doodly there was. Say hello and goodbye to Jesus Garcia, from Immokalee Community School in Florida...

A teacher on an Immokalee school field trip to Washington, D.C., last weekend allegedly got drunk, cursed at students, spanked them and flung one on a bed.

This asshat had five fifth-graders on the trip locked in their room with him during his little alleged episode. The rest of the tour group came by to find out why they weren't at dinner.

When the chaperones found out why, they put Jesus on a plane out of town. Parents were ticked that criminal charges weren't filed, because the school officials punted that by claiming students would be traumatized talking to police.

They probably could have used the real life experience to see what's supposed to happen to people when they are implicated in a crime. They could have done a collage of the teacher's mugshots and drawn little frowny faces on the page too.

Gossipers fired. Have you heard! I've got to admit, this charming tale out of New Hampshire doesn't outrage me in the least. A bunch of chatterboxes received a richly deserved firing for talking it up about a couple of people suspected of being in a close relationship.

What made it gossip-worthy was the two people in question happened to be married, and not to each other.

What earned the four women a swift kick in the ass out of their jobs was that one of the people happened to be a politically powerful fish in a really tiny pond...

Town Administrator David Jodoin was deeply troubled by the rumors about his personal life. He complained to the Hooksett Town Council, which launched an investigation of the gossip at the town offices. When the brief probe was over, the town moved quickly to action, and fired four town employees for spreading the rumor.

Of course, everyone in the small town of Hooksett is wondering if Devious David hooked up with a sultry sloe-eyed Bathsheba now. He created a new job for his gal pal, and it looks like the pay was sweet enough to light the gossip fuse.

If you're wondering if the fired foursome are going to sue, you haven't been reading this blog for very long. If the end of the week comes and they aren't back in the office wondering if the lady with the new job seduced her way up the pay scale, the lawsuits will be flying.

Ex-Interior official getting probed Imagine my surprise at learning yet another Beltway insider has been found to be lining her pockets at someone else's expense. In Julie MacDonald's case, that "someone else" is the Sacramento splittail fish.

Our girl Julie, formerly the deputy assistant secretary of the Department of Interior, got the little fish yanked off the endangered species list. Why would Julie do this to a fish? Let's go to the Intarwebs...

But her participation in the decisionmaking at any stage of the process may have violated conflict of interest rules because MacDonald owns an 80-acre farm in the Yolo Bypass, a floodplain of wetlands, pastures and row crops north of the Delta that is key habitat for the fish.

Uh oh. Even in the current Administration, that has to be a red flag for a conflict of interest. So does this...

According to financial disclosure reports, MacDonald's farm is worth more than $1 million, and she receives $100,000 to $1 million a year in income from it.

"At the very least, this certainly has the appearance of a conflict of interest," said Mary Boyles, spokeswoman for Common Cause in Washington.

Thanks for that blinding flash of the obvious there, Mary.

Julie resigned her position at the end of April. She's got a laundry list of other accusations out there regarding her misbehavior while acting as a civil servant. I'm hoping she gets back into government service, preferably as an inmate somewhere. Poor little fishies.

Fish sticks really sound good for dinner. Mmm, with some ramen too. Yum.

Image via Wikipedia

Magic fires Hill. Yeah, again. I would have thought the Orlando Magic figured it out ten years ago when they fired Brian Hill the first time. The players hated him so much, I figured it would be inevitable that they'd find him in a shot-up burning car some night outside Downtown Disney, his lifeless hand clutching a torn piece of a Penny Hardaway jersey.

Didn't happen, and Brian got bounced. That was 1997. Eight years and five coaches later, they rehired Bouncing Brian, but it didn't work out...

But by the end of the season, Hill was receiving lukewarm endorsements from President Bob Vander Weide and Otis Smith.

There was speculation that Hill and Smith had some philosophical differences, most notably with the style of offense and Hill's use of certain players.

Probably non-use of certain players, like Darko and Reddick, was the reason. They went 40-42, it's not like they would have been much worse with either of those guys on the court more often.

So who will be the next washed-up former coach to step up and try to motivate a bunch of millionaires to make a few free throws in a meaningless game in February in Orlando?

Doc Martens curb-stomps ad agency Dead rocks stars apparently have no business dying with their boots on, especially if they are maladjusted youth-favorite brand Doc Martens.

Someone at Saatchi & Saatchi London is being thrown under the double-decker bus for using four ads for Doc Martens that were not meant to be seen in public...

Kate Stanners, executive creative director, Saatchi & Saatchi said the four print ads which featured the late rock singers Kurt Corbain, Joe Strummer, Sid Vicious and Joey Ramone all in heaven wearing Dr Martens boots, were presented as a homage to the rock legends. All four punk-rock icons were known for wearing Dr. Martens boots.

Ok, none of those guys ever called them "Doctor" Martens. Anyway, about that person being offered as a sacrificial mosh pit victim by Saatchi...

"While we believe the creative is a beautiful tribute to four legendary musicians, the individual broke both agency and client protocol in this situation by placing the ads on a US advertising website and acting as an unauthorised spokesperson for the company."

Many a hapless head has been ground underneath the heel of those boots over the years. Now I'm supposed to believe their new corporate mission statement...

Dr Martens did not commission the work as it runs counter to our current marketing activities based on FREEDM, which is dedicated to nurturing grass roots creativity and supporting emerging talent.

Maybe they're carving that into the heels of the boots these days, as a reverse image so people can see it in the mirror and read it on their foreheads.

Wal-Mart's fired gal fires back The marketing pro who was going to turn staid old Wal-Mart into the hippest thing since the hula hoop has returned with a vengeance. Julie Roehm is accusing the top Wal-Martian of doing to the company what she's been accused of doing with her subordinate assistant.

Oh yeah, you can bet your Crocs there's a lawsuit happening...

In the latest salvo aimed at her employer, fired Wal-Mart marketing executive Julie Roehm claimed in a court filing that CEO Lee Scott misused the company's ethics policy and accepted trips and received preferential prices on yachts and jewelry from Jacobs.

In the documents filed Thursday in the U.S. District Court in Detroit, Roehm - who is challenging Wal-Mart's charges of improprieties like accepting gifts from vendors and having an affair with a subordinate - also attacked other senior executives for accepting trips, concert tickets and other gifts from vendors.

She got fired in December of last year, as did her alleged paramour, Sean Womack. Three months later, they were sharing a stage in Hollywood. That's because they're such great friends, don't you know?

Iowa is full of weird firings It's bad enough that one fired employee was letting inmates out of jail early. Maybe she thought she was helping with the issue of prison overpopulation. Imagine if she gets a job at some maximum security federal prison. Charlie Manson wouldn't have to worry about parole hearings again.

Beverley Finnell got fired after letting a few inmates go free early. She's not the only person to get turned loose from the public service gravy train in Iowa.

One guy was fired for going nuts at a high school football game, where he cursed out one coach and threatened another one. Surprise, surprise, the guy had a track record of being an abusive ass. Maybe he was remotely channeling the spirit of Bobby Knight.

They canned a mailman for reading people's newspapers and magazines. I thought that was a job perk. Who knew? Another guy who was a corrections officer got fired for entering an improper business relationship with a former inmate. What's that mean, they were dealing drugs? Going house to house with Kirby vacs?

The best one was a Department of Homeland Security screener manager, who quit before his supervisors could get around to firing him...

Michael Woods of Mount Vernon, who resigned from the Department of Homeland Security, where he worked as a manager of airport screeners. The resignation came after his superiors demanded that he write letters explaining why he kept a bottle of "Whoop Ass" energy drink on his desk.

Sounds like the terrorists won to me.

Things not to say to your students I really don't get it. Every time a teacher misbehaves with his or her students these days, it makes news. Especially if there is even a hint of sex involved.

Gregory Durio made a smattering of comments to his high school class that left his school board unanimously deciding to fire him, and a reporter plenty of money quotes from Teach that I'll share with you...

Durio was accused of and admitted to:

-- telling a girl she could put on fishnet stockings and get a job as a blackjack dealer in Las Vegas.

-- asking a girl who wanted to leave class to use the restroom if it was because of “feminine hygiene.�

-- telling a girl who told the class she enjoyed brushing her teeth with an electric toothbrush that he didn’t want to hear her 'vibrator story.'

-- telling a male student that he has a friend named Dick who was getting married to a woman named Fanny.

I just live for this kind of carelessness. It makes the world a nicer place. The Futon Of Love even feels comfier today. Life is good.

Politics claims cancer patient's job Anyone who has followed the federal prosecutor firing story may be shocked, shocked I say, to learn that Democrats may be just as craven and venal as their Republican counterparts.

Ray Allen worked under several Republican administration in Maryland's state government as a contractual computer network staffer. He's also a member of the state's Republican Central Committee. Plus he's been recovering from radiation and chemo treatments.

Did I mention the new governor of Maryland is a Democrat? The oh-so-classy Democrats fired him by certified mail and told him to clean out his desk...

"Is it possible it was political retaliation? I would think it's entirely possible," Allen said. "But no one ever said that."

Allen said he was a model employee and that he was "unaware of anyone that had any problems with my work."

He said he was told he was being let go because "I wasn't particularly productive over the winter," when he was receiving his cancer treatments.

At least Ray has his wife's insurance to keep up with his treatments. I hope she doesn't have a government job too.