Got Pranks? Simply Fired, and the corporate masters at Simply Hired, want your office pranks for the first annual Prankies.

Be sure to take a look at the official dogma about the 2007 Office Prank Awards, and enter your best pranks today.

Really, if you could just read about The Prankies, that would be great. I'm pretty sure Lucas spent a solid 20 or 30 seconds deciding who should be delegated the copywriting task, so he deserves a little love.

Since I'm not exactly eligible for competing, I'll put up my all-time best prank in my next post. The rest of you get a shot at something Vegas-related. No one will tell me what, but I'm guessing it's more than just standing around waiting for the next Sirens of TI show to start.

office pranks contest

Tale of the HR drug test form This little prank I pulled a while back, long enough to be past the statute of limitations anyway, was pretty much my finest hour.

My mark ended up being an affable party hound we'll call Tom to protect his privacy and my facial structure. We were among a hundred cube dwellers doing customer service in a call center. Like a lot of companies, they insisted on a pre-employment drug screen.

One day, I had to go to the copier to do something work-related, and one of the HR drones had left an original, signed form on the glass. This was the form that applicants aspiring to cubedom had to take to the local piss-taker and make a contribution.

Remember kiddies, whiskey is a perfectly acceptable drug marking the consumer as a decent all-around type person. Pot or other illegal substances meant you weren't going to be allowed to confine yourself to a cubicle for nine hours a day, less lunchtime and breaks. I'm not about to discuss the war on drugs here, but the testing served to inspire me to this little gag.

I quickly snagged the form and headed back to my cube. Between calls, I composed a masterpiece of a letter to Dear Associate. He'd been randomly selected for a new corporate drug screening process. As it came from the corporate level, he was prohibited from openly discussing it with co-workers or supervisors. An included toll-free number could be called to "consult" with a third-party firm about the testing (I think I made up one that turned out to be a real number for drug counseling).

He had to take the test within one hour of the end of his shift. Failure to do so would result in his termination. At the very bottom of the letter, which I'd printed on a pilfered copy of corporate letterhead, I wrote in 6-point font, "If you've read this far, you can relax. This is just a joke. Gotcha!"

This was on a Friday, and I managed to slip it onto his desk before he went to lunch. I enjoyed a quiet chuckle, then finished my day. We both had to work Saturday morning, and I looked forward to finding out how my little prank worked.

As it turned out, Tom didn't read all the way to the bottom of the letter. He told the story the next day.

Upon finding the letter, he'd nearly had a coronary. Tom had done some harmless partying that would be a corporate death sentence in a drug screen. Rather than enjoying his short lunch break on Friday, he hauled over to the nearest GNC and spent more than $25 on stuff the clerk assured him would "clear him out."

Tom didn't talk to anyone at the office. He did try calling the number I'd provided, which as I mentioned turned out to be a legit drug addiction counseling service. They didn't know anything about the screening. That freaked him out more.

After work, he sat in his car, sweating bullets, hoping the supplements had made some impact, reading the letter over and over. Until he finally got to the bottom and knew he'd been had. At which point, he says he screamed out loud.

Tom was several inches taller than me, and when I confessed (while convulsing with laughter) on Saturday morning, I fully expected to get pummeled. It didn't happen. He was a great sport about it. I thought I was being put on, but he was serious. How weird is that?

To think, I have HR to thank for my best prank.

office pranks contest

Hockey guy backstabs second coach in 8 years First place and a spot in the Stanley Cup playoffs should be enough reason to keep a coach. Not the New Jersey Devils. Their general manager, Lou Lamoriello, punked coach Claude Julien just as the regular season was hitting its final week...

"He must have done something to [tick] Lou off," one longtime NHL talent assessor familiar with the New Jersey organization said in the wake of Monday's shocking news.

Lamoriello insisted there has never been any rancor between him and Julien, and indeed Julien will remain with the organization in some unnamed capacity.

'Unnamed capacity' usually means emptying trashcans and sorting mail for people who haven't been fired.

It's not the first time Unsweet Lou has given a coach the Ides of March treatment. He did the same thing to Robbie Ftorek in 2000 as the season was ending. When he did that, the Devils won the Stanley Cup with their new coach.

That would kind of suck for Claude. Work all season long just to see your boss step into your job at the finish and maybe get credit for winning it all, while people make fun of you and snicker behind your back.

No wonder Claude wasn't available for comment. No one would be able to publish the assorted obscenities and murder fantasies he'd be likely to spout into reporters' microphones.

Fired Wal-Mart snoop says they spy on everybody Big Brother lives in Bentonville, Arkansas, and wears a big smiley face. On the inside, he's all cold clockwork and camera monitors, watching everything anyone does in and out and around Wal-Mart.

The story about their firing of Bruce Gabbard isn't nearly as fun or salacious as when Wal-Mart dropped their top marketing exec, and all but said out loud she was buying every bottle of K-Y Touch Massage Oil & Lubricant she could find at the Wal-Mart checkout and using them to do the nasty with her top assistant.

Bruce was the guy who got the not-smiley face from Wallyworld HR over his tapping of communications between disloyal Wal-Martians and a reporter. Now he's blowing the whistle on his old bosses and accusing them of everything this side of making the refs blow all those early whistles in the Georgetown-Ohio State game...

As part of the surveillance, the retailer last year had a long-haired employee infiltrate an anti-Wal-Mart group to determine if it planned protests at the company's annual meeting, according to Bruce Gabbard, the fired security worker, the Journal said.

The company also deployed cutting-edge monitoring systems made by a supplier to the Defense Department that allowed it to capture and record the actions of anyone connected to its global computer network, the Journal said.

No one's denying this stuff. The designated Wal-Mart talking head said it was standard practice. So why would they fire Bruce if he was doing his job? I think it was because he got caught. Just because everyone found out about one reporter being spied on doesn't mean he was the only one.

Cops find use for scalped World Series tickets I hope this doesn't disappoint anyone, but the cops in this story won't be fired for their innovative approach to putting seized World Series tickets back into the Busch Stadium economy.

Eight St. Louis cops sent dozens of people to the Fall Classic's game three, to see the Tigers come to town and lose. When it comes to crime, cops can be the cleverest criminals of them all...

The punishments stem from police operations during the World Series in St. Louis last year, when the Cardinals defeated the Detroit Tigers. 3 games were played in St. Louis. Police officers seized several tickets from scalpers (selling tickets above face value is illegal in Missouri, though it is legal in Illinois).

Investigators say 30 of those tickets were used by the officers' friends and family to go to World Series games. The tickets were then turned into the police department's evidence room. Because tickets are digitally scanned and not torn as people enter the stadium, the tickets do not appear to be any different after they are used.

They'll get busted in rank, but no firings here. I guess stealing police evidence isn't grounds for dismissal. To protect and to serve, eh?

Firefighter fired for faking frailty I know you've abused the old sick time privilege once or twice at your job. Everyone needs a mental health day now and again. If it's not a habit, it's usually not a problem.

But if the bosses are the suspicious type, they might do something like send out the private dicks with video cameras to catch your ass in living color, abusing the sick leave policy, like this fired firefighter...

"You have blatantly abused the sick leave honor system in the Bridgeport Fire Department and you have committed fraud upon the taxpayers of the city of Bridgeport," Rooney said in a March 28 letter to Cennamo.

"Be advised that I am turning this file over to the Bridgeport Police Department for your commission of fraud and criminal actions against the city," he wrote.

Joseph Cennamo apologized and expressed remorse for his actions, which included doing masonry work while out on sick leave. Ha ha ha, I'm kidding of course. He's saying he was harassed by the chief, he's got a lawyer fighting his dismissal, and the union has his back too.

Did I mention he's got a history of missing work and a past suspension for violating a drug and alcohol policy? The guy's obviously a victim of circumstances beyond his control...about as much as Paris Hilton can't control her wardrobe choices.

Con artist fires his memory of $134 million smackeroonies Oh sure, he's listed as an economics professor at Charleston Southern. It looks more like Al Parish was the living breathing version of the southern fried con man Tom Hanks played in "The Ladykillers." Professor G.H. Dorr, IMDB says, was the Hanks role, but the casting director missed out on a real life version in Scamming Al.

The SEC, by which I mean the Feds and not the football conference, thinks that Smiling Al pulled off quite a trick, by making $134 million disappear. A few million of that came from Stealing Al's employer, Charleston Southern.

Slick Al isn't talking, either...

As SEC investigators attempted to question Parish, he claimed to be suffering from amnesia and checked himself into a hospital, so he has not commented on the mess, leaving investors and investigators very much in the dark.

The SEC complaint added that “without disclosure to the investors, virtually all of the assets of the funds have been dissipated.�

This is right up there in Mike Tyson country. He blew through about three times what Smooth Al did. I know sometimes I forget how I started the day with six bucks and ended it with 85 cents and a bottle cap, but how do you forget $134 million?

Unless you're just dumping that cash like Monopoly money into Vegas or someplace like that, you have to have something to remind you of where the cash went, like maybe a mansion or a few ex-wives or something. Maybe a whole bunch of Carl Jr wrappers in the backseat of the car.

Al's not employed by the college any longer. They aren't using the word 'fired' about his lack of employment status, but that's probably because they'd like to use the phrase 'missing corpse' instead.

Brandy poured out of Talent job America's Got Talent ain't got Brandy as a judge now. Brandy may be judged sometime soon for snuffing another motorist, but she won't be playing a judge on TV, sez TMZ...

TMZ has learned that Brandy has been replaced by Sharon Osbourne as a judge on the upcoming season of "America's Got Talent."

While rumors have swirled that Osbourne was in talks with NBC, a well-placed source tells TMZ that the embattled R&B star is officially out -- and the rock and roll chatter queen is in. There was wide speculation over Brandy's role on the talent show following her involvement in a December freeway crash that claimed a woman's life.

The 405 has not been kind to the Moesha crew. Two of her co-stars have eaten it on L.A.'s fastest parking lot. Brandy hasn't been charged yet in her crash, but NBC's taking no chances.

Image courtesy TMZ.com. They rock.

Katie Couric's library card a mystery to her The anchor and managing editor of CBS News did a puff piece about the time she first got a library card. She remembered it well for her one minute 'Katie's Corner' piece that hit the web and all kinds of slavering CBS affiliates on April 4th.

There was a problem with the story - it was a fake. Ok, no big deal, Katie's 50 now, you can't expect old people to remember stuff real clearly, so maybe she just embellished things a little. Plus media types do that all the time, remembering stuff as fondly as it was written by someone else for them.

No?

It was worse than taking creative license?

C'mon, it's not like she plagiarized it, right?

'Katie's Notebook' Item Cribbed From WS Journal
Katie Couric essay found plagiarized; CBS producer fired
CBS News Fires Producer for Plagiarism
CBS producer takes the fall
Couric is “Horrified,� and So Am I

See, Katie didn't plagiarize this story. Some dumbass nitwit producer completely screwed up and wrote Katie's fondest library card memories for her by copying someone else's memories out of a Wall Street Journal article.

How can this happen? Did Katie have a tray of bagels hit her in the head and wipe out her original memories of getting a library card? Is there a part of the brain that controls library card memorization?

Because, ya know, this was a personal remembrance from the CBS News anchor. Her story. Except it wasn't. It was, in the words of the political philosopher Lewis Black, bullshit.

So Katie greenlit this, which wasn't her story, and it turns out to be not only fake BS but stolen BS as well. And her ass isn't fired now? Like Moonves needs more of an excuse with the ratings she's getting?

I understand the fake BS part. I think there should be a line drawn at stolen BS. Preferably on a pink slip.

The spin CBS is putting out is how they should have credited the WSJ writer, Jeffrey Zaslow. How the hell were they supposed to do that? Katie outsourced her library card memories to Jeff. WhaDaFU?

Maybe her judgment has been suffering since she started popping a 33 year old triathlete. Who can keep their minds on work when they can't stop thinking about playing Hide the Salami all day?

Imus disconnected by CBS While Katie Couric will hang onto the anchor's chair and whatever Arbitron ratings she still has after tee hee reading her fake memories off the teleprompter, Don Imus will ride into the sunset. CBS has axed the shock jock from the network...

"From the outset, I believe all of us have been deeply upset and revulsed by the statements that were made on our air about the young women who represented Rutgers University in the NCAA Women's Basketball Championship with such class, energy and talent," CBS President and Chief Executive Officer Leslie Moonves said in a statement.

Hey Leslie, know what? You're a hypocrite. Everyone knows Imus is a dick. Everyone thought Katie was like, you know, a serious newsperson. If Imus has to go for offending the audience, Katie and her great legs need to follow the I-Man out the door too.

I wish I had an invite to whatever party Howard Stern is going to throw to celebrate Imus getting kicked off the air. You know that's going to be one rocking freakshow.

Citigroup not kidding about firing, but that consolidation thing was just for laughs Everyone's made a big deal out of one DJ getting fired. 17,000 Citigroup people will get the deep penetrating chop as the bankers send lots of middle manager types into the job market, and probably a few coronary care units.

When Citigroup regroups, that whole consolidation thing they've been planning will be shipping US jobs overseas faster than you can say "vindaloo."

Citigroup announced April 11 it will slash its workforce by 17,000 and move 9,500 positions to lower-cost locations.

Although a Citigroup representative declined to speak on the record about the specifics of the restructuring and relocation process, Chief Executive Charles Prince indicated that India would be a likely target for expanded operations in a visit to Mumbai late last month.

"Declined to speak on the record" is doublespeak for "I'm not taking the blame for dropping this bar of Baby Ruth in the worker swimming pool."

So for you Citigroupers out there working in some financial capital like London or New York, I would advise against buying any big-screen TVs right now. Someone in Mumbai may be doing your job this year, and you're going to really wish you hadn't blown that cash on a TV when your cable service gets cut off for non-payment after Citigroup zeroes out your job.

They probably think "fences" go around a yard Thief stops by
A Jackson pawn shop
Lots of goods he
Wants to drop
Off for some cash
And get out the door
But
Clerks think the guy
Stole all this stuff
Drop a dime on crime
And the cops get tough
Dude gets busted
Life should be good
No
The clerks got fired
Lost their jobs
For turning in a
Guy who robs
Drills
Air compressors
And treadmills
The bosses ain't talkin'
Not one sentence
Maybe the pawn shop
Is really a fence, yo.

MC Fred in the house. Peace and much love to our visitors from...where's that again...oh, The Chronic-le, I gotcha.

Paramedic revived dead man's bank account I don't know how different paramedic training is in the U.K., but I'm pretty sure "rifle the dead victim's pockets" isn't what the instructors meant when they talked about bleeding.

Sick David Wright, 50, rifled through the dead man’s wallet after answering a 999 call, a court heard.

He found a piece of paper with a PIN code and three cards.

But he was caught on a bank’s CCTV still wearing his uniform as he withdrew £500.

Sick David showed up on a call when an old guy died in his garden. He must have left his patient dignity gene in the ambulance. He sure didn't have it when he was spending the dead guy's money.

He got his richly deserved firing, and probably faces some jail time. Or do they call it gaol? Sick David's lucky this isn't the old days, where stealing that much money would probably get him slammed into the iron maiden five or six times before getting jiggy with some real punishment.

$12 million reasons to consider a career change People make mistakes on the job. It happens. Sometimes it's a costly mistake, and assuming the cops aren't waiting for you at your cubicle you can probably resurrect that career someplace else.

An unidentified plumber's apprentice from England probably won't be among those people...

The first day of a new job can be a nerve racking experience prone to professional mishaps.

And even the most experienced worker might expect to feel the heat.

So spare a thought for the rookie plumber who attempted a soldering job at this £5 million waterside home - and saw his efforts go up in smoke.

That's around $12 million in good old American greenbacks, for a mansion that's been in movies like the chick flick "The French Lieutenant's Woman." Yes I did say chick flick. Why? Two words: Meryl Streep. Four more words: it ain't The Matrix.

The pyro plumber is rumored to be 17 years old. That really sucks because the drinking age in England is 18, so this guy can't even go out legally and drown his first day on the job in warm ale.

The guy who owns the now-smoldering wreckage made his money in greeting cards. I wonder if he publishes any cards that say "Roses are red, and fire is too. A kid torched your waterside mansion; man it sucks to be you."

Ok, maybe a limerick would be more appropriate.

Photo courtesy of the BBC

WebMD pulls plug on its CTO David Gang's run as CTO at WebMD is being harvested for organs. The company fired him today with the kind of speed normally reserved for ambulances leaving a crash scene for the emergency room. Whatever he did to earn that dismissal isn't in the official statement. The 'About WebMD' section is longer than the 'Good night and good luck' statement the company made.

I'd normally paste that here, but it's boring as hearing little kids at the bus stop whining about Sanjaya getting voted off American Idol. Happily for me, Valleywag has snarked it up a bit, bringing in a quote unquote AOL refugee to talk about David's reputation at the job he had before he had the WebMD gig...

I knew David a bit at AOL -- more by reputation than personally, although personally a little, too. He's -- how you say? -- a total c***sucker. It was a rare happy day at AOL when David's departure was announced.

If I were David, I'm pretty sure I would have passed on the orange cream punch at the farewell potluck for fear of any way-too-all-natural additives.

But why toss the guy from WebMD? Did they catch him changing things like a prognosis for hangnails from treatable to terminal on the website? Did he replace the anatomically correct images with, you know, really anatomically correct images?

Musselman's crown removed by Kings Eric Musselman's first and last NBA season coaching Sacramento started with a drunk driving bust and ended with the team 16 games under .500 and out of the playoffs.

The Maloof boys have made plenty of gambling money by being the house. They recognize a bad run when they see one, and they promptly cut their losses by cutting Erratic Eric loose. Of course it was their fault the Kings even had Eric as a coach...

The firing is a disastrous end to an experiment by Sacramento owners Joe and Gavin Maloof, who dropped Adelman last summer against Petrie's apparent wishes.

They eventually collapsed into a season-ending 5-17 skid despite returning largely the same roster that scared the San Antonio Spurs in a first-round series last season.

Nothing like a little ownership meddling to really throw off a team. At least when Mark Cuban was a fatal distraction to his team last year, they were already in the finals.

Death doesn't get in the way of fraud Mother's Day is coming up on May 13th. There's one mom out there who should be spending the day in jail with nothing to do but remember her dead daughter.

An employee fired by one of the suspects in the $39,000 insurance fraud blew the whistle on her ex-boss, Shirley Miller. She and Denise Lattimore, the mother of leukemia victim Tamieka Edwards, got axed for their little scam...

Lattimore allegedly convinced fellow city worker Shirley Miller, who worked in the city's pension division, to enroll Lattimore's daughter in the insurance program just two weeks before her death. The daughter had been eligible for city benefits since Sept. 30, 2003, when she was promoted to a full-time secretarial job at the city's solicitor's office. But she never signed up for benefits, the report states.

The day after Edwards died, Miller amended the policy to name Lattimore as the sole beneficiary of Edwards' benefits, the report states.

This happened in Atlanta, where they expect the sweet ministrations of the judicial system will take the two women away. The city wants to try and get the money back.

Hahahahahaha. That check was cut last June. If anyone's thinking they're going to find a savings account with all the cash plus interest just waiting to be recovered, I mean come on, they probably went through that ka-ching faster than a glass of water in Tijuana plows through a tourist's bowels.

Here comes the judge. And the prosecutor He's a 57 year old judge. She's a 29 year old assistant district attorney. Together they warmed up the Douglas County, Colorado courthouse with lots of sweet, sweet lovin'. Before everyone found out about it, shades of Shaggy's style.

The judge didn't even bother trying to say "it wasn't me." 28 year age difference, the old boy was probably bragging about it...

Grafton Minot Biddle, 57, resigned Dec. 18 after his fourth wife sent a letter to the chief judge saying he was having an affair with Laurie A. Steinman, 29.

Yeah baby, cue the music. Bom chicka bom bow...

In the complaint, both admit they had sex in the judge’s chambers and "on a number of occasions, Judge Biddle would ‘sneak’ into the women’s shower facility in the courthouse early in the morning."

The story says Laurie used to handle dispositions in Grafton's courtroom. Sounds like she handled a little more than that. I don't think it's fair that she got fired while he got to resign. If she doesn't get disbarred, her next job interviews are going to be real uncomfortable. "So why did you leave your last job?" "I got caught letting the judge bang me like a burning gavel." Nice.

Rosie dumped, Donald cheers The cheerful banter and witty debate between Rosie O'Donnell and Donald Trump over her stint on The View will end in two months, right around Barbara Walters 138th birthday. Rosie's punching out in June.

Officially, she and Baba Wawa's ABC couldn't come to an agreement on a contract extension. Either Rosie was asking for Donald type money, or ABC lowballed her just to give her an excuse to walk away without making them look bad...

Ms. O’Donnell, whose contract with the program was only for this season, said that ABC had wanted her to sign a three-year extension, while she had wanted to commit only to a year. An ABC executive who was directly apprised of the negotiations but who was not authorized to discuss them confirmed Ms. O’Donnell’s account, but said that there had also been wide differences between the salary she was seeking and what the network was willing to pay.

Baba Wawa said she's got nothing to do with those negotiations. She doesn't care much for The Gleeful Donald, either. He took credit for Rosie quitting. I know, what a shock, The Donald showcasing his ego...

He contended that “the straw that broke the camel’s back� was Ms. O’Donnell’s performance at the Waldorf-Astoria luncheon on Monday, where she was said to have grabbed her crotch when uttering Mr. Trump’s name and to have invited him to perform a sex act on her; also attending were Ms. Walters, Meredith Vieira, Cindy Adams and Rupert Murdoch.

“I think I exposed her for what she is,� Mr. Trump said. “I told you she was going to self-destruct.�

In a word? Eeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

The jokers at TMZ have Rosie's replacement all picked out. Baba Wawa, meet Alec Baldwin. Just make sure the kiddies at home stay away from the phone while Alec is on the show.

Photo by: Hal Horowitz/WireImage.com,Jamie McCarthy/WireImage.com

Pacers bounce Carlisle off the court Indiana's got hoop nightmares. They missed the playoffs and had their worst season since Members Only jackets and big hair were in fashion. Two players just got arthroscopic surgery.

Larry Bird just shot their coach into the fired bin too. Rick Carlisle won't be around to coddle Jermaine O'Neal next year. That's not the problem the Pacers have now...

But tell me: Where was Bird? Where was team CEO Donnie Walsh?

The next Pacers coach needs more than a loud voice and a cattle prod; he needs the total support of ownership and management. This isn't simply about making the Pacers a contender again. It's about restoring the franchise's credibility.

Yeah, NBA millionaires respond to the drill sergeant types. There's something about a guaranteed contract that makes people a little less responsive to negative reinforcement. I think that's why they call it "F-U money."

College admission dean fired for fibbing The problem I have with people who get where they are with a little help from a padded résumé is that they pushed aside someone who really did earn their degrees. Marilee Jones may have been the world's greatest college admissions dean, but MIT was right to can her for lying.

It wasn't just the one fake degree she put on her application 28 years ago for a job where she didn't need a degree. Over the years she dropped two more phony degrees into her work history.

Someone finally called her out about her lengthy deception...

A senior MIT official said that by claiming degrees she had never earned, Jones could no longer lead an admissions office that occasionally rescinds the acceptance letters sent to applicants who are untruthful about their own accomplishments.

MIT was alerted to questions about Jones' credentials in a phone call, from someone he declined to identify, to another dean. An inquiry determined Jones had at various points claimed degrees from Union College, Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute and the Albany Medical College, all in New York, but in fact had no degrees from any of those institutions.

They should have kept her on the job. As someone who's been lying for years, she must have been awfully good at spotting her own behavior in others.

Floridians would love to be fired I think I've hinted that college is one of the biggest swindles out there. It's an industry that raises prices every year, repeats last year's lectures every year, forces you to take stuff like 12 credits of foreign languages you'll only use to hit on hot foreign students, and leaves you with years of "Please pay now" from your student loans.

Forget about any guarantee of a job. Check out this story from South Florida to see that payback on investment in action...

In Broward and Palm Beach counties, more than one out of every 10 adults living in poverty has a bachelor's degree or higher, according to recent census estimates. More than one out of every three of the area's poor adults, ages 25 and older, have earned an associate's degree or taken community college classes.

I'm not talking about advanced programs like med school or law school here. But those grads get saddled with even more debt. It seems like everyone gets the shaft unless they came from obscene wealth (don't need a degree to inherit), or abject poverty (everything was paid for with grants instead of loans).

I can't mock these people properly unless they get hired somewhere so they will have witnesses for whatever monumental screwup they cause to get fired. Here's why they aren't getting jobs...

But, as degrees have become more plentiful, they have become less a guarantee of success.

In Palm Beach County, a group of unemployed professionals meet weekly to swap job-hunting tips, leads and encouragement.

See the problem here? Networking with other unemployed people doesn't work. You don't need people to tell you how much unemployment sucks when you don't have a job.