Welcome to the Social unemployment line Here's a really great idea to beat Apple at its groovy iPod game. Come out with a music player that does video, but make sure its music format won't let people grab stuff off any place that does the Plays For Sure thing and put it on there, because the music labels might get upset. And let's make it ugly.

Bryan Lee, congratulations, Microsoft has chosen you to wear the scapegoat's horns for Zune's failure to sell 50 billion units and make people forget all about Steve what's his face at Apple...

Lee plans to leave the company in the next several weeks to pursue personal interests, Microsoft said.

Yeah, personal interests. Clipping coupons from Sunday papers other people throw away. Putting your first-edition Sandman comics on the eBays. Hitting Ralph's for as much ramen as you can stuff into your car. Keep moving your car around town to stay a step ahead of the repo man. Unemployment checks every two weeks. Those are the next personal interests. Because everyone just loves giving up six-figures salaries.

Make sure the best little job search on the Internets is a personal interest too. You may need it, Bryan.

Fired, Zune, Bryan Lee, Microsoft

Manhood: check; outrage: check; pink slip: yup There's a line in Mike Lupica's 'Bump and Run' where the football coach pulls out his, ahem, equipment, and screams at the team, "Do you know what this is?!" and the team owner standing nearby goes "It looks like a penis, only smaller."

A high school basketball coach in main took Bill Parcells', I'm sorry, I mean the fictional coach's motivational method a little too much to heart...

Leavitt High School basketball coach Mike Remillard was fired after telling his players to put their hands down their pants to "check their manhood"

The principal wanted to learn more about the coach's pump 'em up tactics...

I have been told that during halftime, Mr. Remillard asked the players if they knew what tonights game was all about. He stated that tonights game was about who had the biggest "male genetalia" in town. He then required his players to all stand up and put their hands down their pants and check their manhood.

The coach put winning just a little ahead of fair play and good sportsmanship...

I asked further if he thought that was an appropriate motivational tactic. He replied that "we won".

Shades of Vince Lombardi indeed. No wait, I meant Bobby Knight.

Fired, Coach, Basketball, Mike Remillard

Annabelle talks up Fired! on NPR Long before Woody Allen fell in love with Scarlett Johansson, he fired an actress named Annabelle Gurwitch from a play he was directing. That turned Annabelle onto a new career path, and she wrote a book and made a movie about her's and other's experiences at getting fired in the entertainment industry.

Annabelle talks up Fired! with NPR's Alex Chadwick; audio available at the link.

Fired, Annabelle Gurwitch

Forbes looking for fired advice What happens if you're a Forbes and you get fired from a job? Do you go by the ATM and make sure you've still got nine figures in checking, or do you stop by the private club for a snifter of brandy first?

If you're me, you check you ramen supplies, tell the local Thai place that you haven't died, you're just job hunting, and buy a tank of gas and plenty of toilet paper. Nothing sucks more than running out of TP.

Let's not forget our favorite job search site, of course.

No one named Forbes has been fired, but someone at the esteemed publication has been channeling your pal Fred and riffing on the fired CEO set.

There's plenty of familiar names in Hannah Clark's article, a discussion with some Yale ivory tower type who's probably taken a break from a grueling one or two course curriculum to write a book. Here's a question you should have asked Jeffrey Sonnenfeld, Hannah: when's the last time you had to scrape for rent?

Hannah does get a couple of entertaining Q and A's in with the professor, like about who hasn't come back from getting kicked out of the big office...

Who has tried to come back and failed? Where's Carly Fiorina? Even her book is not selling. Last fall, HP had one of the most bizarre and tragic board meltdowns in history with the governance scandal. You would have thought Carly Fiorina would have had a great opportunity to have made it back. She wrote her revenge book, and it didn't help. She had a little flutter of attention, but it didn't help.

Carly's failure ended with a $21 million straight cash payout from H-"Spies Like Us"-P. Boo freaking hoo, Jeffrey.

He redeems himself in an exchange with Hannah about ex-Home Depot chief Robert Nardelli. Seems that Not So Silent Bob has a massive superiority complex and can't accept his failures real well...

So maybe Robert Nardelli should just check into rehab.

He should admit that he has a problem. His problem is not greed; his problem is a confidence problem. He never got to be the corporate titan at GE like he wanted. I know him, and I have had conversations with him. It takes only two questions and he's raging angry over the GE situation.

I know how I'd get fired by Not So Silent Bob if I was working for him. I'd be humming that tune, "GE, we bring good things to light," around him just to see if he'd blow capillaries in his forehead.

Fired, Forbes, Hannah Clark, Yale, Jeffrey Sonnenfeld

To Spring Arbor, Thanks for everything, Julie Nemecek Being a transgendered cross-dresser probably wasn't what John now Julie Nemecek wanted to be branded as by Spring Arbor University when he started dressing the part in 2005. Small Christian colleges tend not to be the most tolerant places for gender identity issues.

Spring Arbor in Michigan decided they won't be renewing the wig-wearing ordained minister's contract once June rolls around...

"I have worked hard for this university, have been praised for my performance, and I have done nothing immoral or sinful," Nemecek told the Jackson Citizen Patriot for a Sunday story.

Officials at Spring Arbor, which is affiliated with the Free Methodist Church, declined to comment to the newspaper. They said in a statement released by a public relations firm: "We expect our faculty to model Christian character as an example for our students."

Yeah, he's suing them over the dismissal for discrimination. I bet Thomas Jefferson and company never saw this coming when they were trimming Washington's hemp plants and writing the Bill of Rights back in the 18th Century.

Tags: Fired, Julie Nemecek, Spring Arbor

What is mishandled evidence? I'm seeing stories about a prosecutor in Iowa getting fired. He mishandled evidence in drug cases...

An assistant county attorney in Pottawattamie County who officials say mishandled evidence in drug cases has been fired.

Told you. Here's more...

Assistant Pottawattamie County Attorney Jeff TeKippe (Tuh-KEP') has been on paid leave as a result of the investigation, but County Attorney Matt Wilber says Tekippe has now been fired. Wilber declined further comment and is referring all questions to the Iowa Division of Criminal Investigation.

They aren't offering any more details about the case, which means I've been left to figure out what mishandling means.

Maybe he was juggling a few bags of coke, and he dropped one and it broke?

Perhaps he decided to partake of the party in a package of pot?

Oh, even better, did he choose to stimulate the local cash-only economy by offering some of the County's finest confiscated recreationals for sale?

Fired, Iowa, Drugs

Technorati Profile

Reporters decide to speed up their firing It's Fred Quiz time!

If you know your boss is mad at you already, you should:

1) Do your best to not give him any more reason to hate you.
2) Open a dialogue with her to clear the air.
3) Go out and provoke the boss in a wildly public way by damaging the company's reputation.

Did you pick answer number 3? Congratulations! You're ready for journalism school...

Six journalists have been fired from the Santa Barbara News-Press for placing a sign over a freeway overpass urging people to cancel their subscriptions, an attorney for the newspaper said.

Three reporters were dismissed late Monday followed by another three on Tuesday, attorney Barry Cappello said. They helped hang a banner last Friday during morning rush hour that read "Cancel Your Newspaper Today" and "Protect Free Speech," Cappello said.

"They are trying to injure and disparage the company," Cappello said. "People who want to engage in conduct that harms the newspaper ... will not remain."

The "Sign Posting Six" expressed remorse and apologized for their actions. Kidding! It's the latest in a series of labor versus management issues at the paper, and a complaint has been filed with the NLRB.

Fired, Santa Barbara News-Press

John Edwards deletes two bloggers There's no need to wait for Wimbledon. Not when we have left-wing and right-wing politics in the good old US of A volleying back and forth over whatever little issues they can dig their sharpened claws into each day.

Today, it's the news that Presidential (snicker) hopeful (fat chance) John Not Kerry Edwards has sent a couple of bloggers hired for their communication skills off the campaign railroad. Who to believe? Salon, perhaps?...

The right-wing blogosphere has gotten its scalps -- John Edwards has fired the two controversial bloggers he recently hired to do liberal blogger outreach, Salon has learned.

The bloggers, Amanda Marcotte, formerly of Pandagon, and Melissa McEwan, of Shakespeare's Sister, had come under fire from right-wing bloggers for statements they had previously made on their respective blogs. A statement by the Catholic League's Bill Donohue, which called Marcotte and McEwan "anti-Catholic vulgar trash-talking bigots," and an accompanying article on the controversy in the New York Times this morning, put extra pressure on the campaign.

Or maybe The Jawa Report, discussing Marcotte?...

This isn't about curse words. This was about holding this vile psycho to her own vulgar words, and then holding John Edwards to those words as well once he hired Marcotte and McEwan to positions as official spokesbloggers. Quoting Marcotte accurately is not "attacking" her - it reveals her.

Yes, in this world, there are places like China and Burma that would ruthlessly suppress such political expression. They're missing out on the best free entertainment outside of Sesame Street.

Fired, Amanda Marcotte, Melissa McEwan, John Edwards

Freeze ices weatherman's job If your name is Amy Freeze, you have to be destined for a career in meteorology or frozen desserts.

Amy ended up doing the weather thing, and got a job in Chicago. Great for her. But what about the guy who already had the job?...

At Channel 32, she replaces Rick DiMaio, 43, a 12-year veteran, who was fired Thursday after he asked his bosses about a published report that Freeze was joining the station. DiMaio is expected to be paid for the remainder of his contract, which was set to expire in June.

I can imagine that uncomfortable scenario. Slick Rick sees the report about Amy, and goes to his bosses.

"Heya guys, I just read the darnedest thing. They're saying you've hired some gal named Freeze to replace me. Can you believe that?"

Bosses look at each other. "Get your crap out of here before we have security curb-stomp your ass in the parking lot. You're fired."

He's painting a much nicer picture ("I had a great job for a long time, and I loved every minute of it," DiMaio said.), and I'll guess there's some contractual thing keeping him from pointing out boss related rumors involving livestock and vegetable-based lotions.

Wait until he cashes his last check from the station. I bet there will be a few blog posts of interest out ahead of a book deal.

Fired, Amy Freeze, Rick DiMaio

Emissions manager emitted from job One guy in Hartford maybe should have invested in a computer at home instead of being a little too dumb about forwarding naughty emails at work. Timothy Kulish experience the rare event of being an embedded government employee who actually got fired from his job.

He managed to get on the express loop for firing. There is one taboo that men cannot cross in the workplace, and that's sexual harassment. Tiny Tim got accused of sexual harassment, and he probably made matters worse by accusing those investigating him of having an agenda to get him at all costs.

Scary, isn't it? Well they got him. Here's what he had to say about the email he forwarded...

As for misusing state computers, Kulish admitted that he may have forwarded inappropriate photographs in e-mails, but said that "if they were to go on anyone's computer they could find an inappropriate e-mail if they wanted to." He said he never visited a pornographic website with his work computer.

"They're taking the broadest view of each of these particular policies and using it to their advantage," he said.

Several employees complained to the agency's affirmative action unit that Kulish favored and promoted employees, including a subordinate he had an affair with, and created a hostile work environment where employees feared speaking up.

I don't think he's getting a farewell potluck from the staff. Note to my readers: "everyone else does it" is not going to save your job if you get busted.

Fired, Timothy Kurlish

Edwards undeletes his bloggers Hey, he's not caving to the reactionary conservatives, he's caving to the radical liberals instead...

Mr. Edwards announced on Thursday, after 36 hours of deliberation, that he would keep on his campaign staff two liberal feminist bloggers with long cybertrails of incendiary comments on sex, religion and politics.

That's just what everyone wants in their next President - someone who's more flexible than Silly Putty! I told you politics in the US was the best free entertainment you could find.

Fired, John Edwards, Amanda Marcotte, Melissa McEwan

No joke, Cartoon Network head gone Get me to a Mega Millions seller, I have the gift of foresight.

I knew someone at Turner Broadcasting was going to get capped when their little marketing stunt caused the City of Boston to go all War of the Worlds and freak out over those Adult Swim Mooninite Lite Brites around the city.

No company dishes out a two-million dollar check as an apology without getting a pound of flesh off of someone in the corporate Matrix. At Cartoon Network, it ended up being their top guy getting a chance to try out the world's best job search site...

The head of Cartoon Network resigned Friday, citing his role in last week's terrorism scare in Boston.

The departure of Jim Samples as Cartoon Networks general manager came in the wake of a botched marketing promotion for a show called "Aqua Teen Hunger Force."

"Botched," yeah, that's one way of putting a $2 mil PR disaster...

On Friday, Samples fell on his sword, saying he would leave the company. He has worked at Turner for 13 years.

That had to hurt. I fell on an empty beer bottle once. It didn't break, but I think I cracked a rib...

Turner has not said whether others have been or will be reprimanded because of the incident. "That's an internal issue," said spokeswoman Shirley Powell.

Sure, like the red hot pokers aren't being inserted into marketing orifices while interns at Turner take notes. For anyone who cares, this is my 200th post since taking over SimplyFired. It's Friday night, lift one for the Fred while you're out lying to someone about how much money you make.

Fired, Jim Samples, Adult Swim, Mooninites

Pecked by tough decision Carolyn Peck wasn't in a good place in Gainesville. The University of Florida has the reigning men's basketball and football national champions. Over at Carolyn's women's basketball side of the program, they didn't have quite the same level of success. Out she goes...

“I love the University of Florida," Peck said at a news conference. “The reason the University of Florida athletics ranks with the best in the nation is that Jeremy Foley has the guts to make the tough decisions."

Florida is 6-20, 0-11 in the SEC.

It's nice to give your ex-boss some props, but I don't think 69-74 in five seasons made the decision that tough for him. 13 losses in a row, no, I don't see that standing in the way either.

Fired, Carolyn Peck, Florida, Women's Basketball

Cold water splashed on coach's job A year ago, Jim Beardmore was picking up Coach of the Year honors for guiding Severna Park boys' lacrosse to a state title.

But lacrosse isn't football. People roll their eyes at things football coaches do. As long as the wins keep coming, little can go wrong.

Sunny Jim found out a lot could go wrong when his Polar Bear plunge team-building exercise had parents screaming 'hazing'...

According to two parents who have players on the team but did not wish to be identified, Beardmore took team members to the Maryland State Police Polar Bear Plunge on Jan. 27 at Sandy Point State Park. Last week, a couple of players who did not attend the event were taken outside and had water thrown on them.

Weather in Severna Park has been a balmy 35 degrees. I can't decide which is stupider, the polar bear plunge, the splashing water on players outdoors, or violating rules about having team meetings outside the season.

Fired, Jim Beardmore, Lacrosse

Marty's gone, but it's Cam and Wade who got hosed I was awakened by the dulcet tones of the Mike & Mike show (minus one Mike) this morning, where they were talking about Marty Schottenheimer getting fired by the Chargers. I assumed I was still asleep. But no, there it was, Marty Ball out of San Diego.

After a 14-2 regular season, the genius that is Dean Spanos has decided now's the time to make a change...

Events of the last month have now convinced me that it is not possible for our organization to function at a championship level under the current structure. On the contrary, and in the plainest possible language, we have a dysfunctional situation here. Today I am resolving that situation once and for all.

It's being said that Marty tried to interview his brother on the Chiefs staff to be the Chargers D-coordinator. Marty's thought being that since he's the coach, he should be able to make that decision. But that ticked off GM A.J. Smith, who hates Marty Ball more than Howard Stern hates the FCC and probably wouldn't spit on Marty if he were on fire...

Smith made it clear in December that he largely credited offensive coordinator Cam Cameron and defensive coordinator Wade Phillips with the Chargers' success.

Really? Then A.J. and Dean need to share the NFL Dumbass Executives of the Decade Award. They could have dumped Marty about five minutes after Marlon McCree got that bad case of "Wanna Be The Man" disease at the end of the Pats playoff game, and made either Wade or Cam the new coach.

A.J. must have been too busy sticking pins in his Marty voodoo doll in January to make that decision. The talking heads on ESPN have been shaking their heads all day over one of those two coordinators losing a shot at coaching a Super Bowl contender.

Wade gets to jump at shadows for the next two years until Lady Jerry Jones Macbeth leaps at him with a dagger in Dallas, while Cam has Joey Harrington and probably a year of rebuilding in Miami, at least. Both of them must want to see A.J. strapped to a tackling dummy and placed in front of Shawn Merriman with a "Merry-Man suxx0rs!" sign taped to his face.

Hey Dean, better get the bank to load up a couple of dump trucks with cash so you can head over to Pete Carroll's place and beg him to save you from your stupidity. That way A.J. can keep pretending he's the best GM in the league.

Fired, Marty Schottenheimer, Chargers

Hygenic lab job fight gets dirty Secret audio recordings make firing cases always that much more enjoyable to read about. There's nothing like the uninterrupted sound of people speaking freely and unawares that gives real insights.

The latest chatter about Mary Gilchrist's firing isn't much different than what I wrote about in October. Proud Mary said she got fired for whistleblowing about changes to a new hygenics lab.

The Univerity of Iowa's interim president Gary Fethke said he got rid of her because she was a pain in the ass who wouldn't shut the hell up. Ok, he didn't use those words, but he did use others...

"I put up with it and put up with it until it went too far, and now I have just lost confidence in your ability to direct the resources in the way we think they should be directed," Fethke told Gilchrist in the recording. "I can't say it's a big difference of opinion, backed up by your unwillingness and your passion to speak your mind when (you're) asked not to."

See, same thing. Here's what would be the money quote from Meredith Hay, Gilchrist's ex-boss, had it been caught on tape. It wasn't, and you can bet Meredith will deny this one forever, unless Proud Mary can come up with those two witnesses who she says also heard Meredith's gaff...

"After I said we need to implement the Vanguard program to protect the health of Iowans, Dr. Hay said, 'it's not the university's job to protect the health of Iowans,'" Gilchrist told the court. "That was explicit acknowledgment of what was implicitly apparent for quite some time."

Is she a mad scientist who's lost touch with reality? Or a heroic whistleblower being brought down by The Man? Will someone end up writing a big check to make this go away? And can I possibly stop asking all of these questions?

Well, yeah, I can.

Fired, Iowa, Hygenic, Lab, Mary Gilchrist

Even the losers get lucky sometimes I mean job loser, and in the case of Shawn Carpenter, whose name spurs a few horror film-related puns in my brain, he's a winner. Guess what? So are you.

He was an analyst at Sandia Labs in New Mexico. They do the sort of research that you find on the landscape of places like Hiroshima, circa 1945. Nukes. Lots of information that's more secret than the formula for Coca Cola.

Part of his job involved finding the cyber bad guys who want to steal those secrets (for nukes and other stuff, not Coke) and plant a bomb in your Aunt Petunia's yard on Privet Drive. His work and later whistleblowing got him fired.

A court agreed that Sandia would have to pay up big for what they did to him - $4.3 million worth of apologies...

Jurors found that Carpenter had been fired in violation of public policy that favors the reporting of stolen security information to appropriate federal officials.

His job involved finding breaches in Sandia's computer networks. He followed the trail of hackers around the world in 2004 and discovered stolen documents about troop movements, body armor and more. He testified that his bosses told him to concern himself only with Sandia.

Eventually, he shared his findings with the FBI.

Three months later, Shawn got shorn from Sandia. Three years later, he scored big. Here's the payoff pitch...

The jury determined Tuesday that the handling of Shawn Carpenter's firing was "malicious, willful, reckless, wanton, fraudulent or in bad faith."

I wonder if anyone's firing has ever been "malicious, willful, reckless, wanton, fraudulent AND in bad faith." I know I could nominate someone.

Fired, Shawn Carpenter, Sandia

Jobs melting at Hershey Hershey has Kisses, but no love for its staff. 1,500 jobs will be cut as the American chocolate maker runs for the border.

The unions think the job losses will be even worse when Hershey gets around to hanging the Open sign on their new production plant in a Monterrey industrial park in Mexico...

Dennis Bomberger, business manager for Chocolate Workers Local 464, which represents 2,500 workers at Hershey plants in Hershey and Reading, speculated that the actual job cuts could have to be deeper to achieve a net work force reduction of 1,500.

"They're going to gain some jobs in Mexico … so there's going to be a higher number lost" in the U.S. and Canada, Bomberger said. "Whenever they move something out the country, that's not good news for any company from the workers' standpoint."

Anyone else notice they waited until the day after the big chocolate Valentine's holiday to announce this?

Fired, Hershey, NAFTA strikes again

How to get fired on your day off Why just sit around lonely on Valentine's Day when you could make a little cash by stopping by the workplace and robbing it? I think this guy with the endless name must have been burned out by daytime infomercials and went a little bit crazy...

Anthony Lois Alston Louvet, 22, of Welcome-Bethesda Road, allegedly put on a ski mask before walking into his place of employment and demanding cash from the register around 10:30 p.m. Wednesday.

An employee on duty began fighting with the masked co-worker, eventually fumbling outside where the mask was pulled off and his identity was revealed.

Louvet walked away from the chicken restaurant on Old U.S. Highway 52 after the shift supervisor fired him on the spot, according to the Davidson County’s Sheriff’s Office.

So much for the Employee of the Week award for Anthony.

Fired, Bojangles, The cash they had was chicken feed anyway

Don't ask, don't tell, don't be stupid? There's been a headline or two about us fighting terrorists over the past few years. I think I've read that a lot of them operate in the Middle East, where it has been reported they speak really difficult languages like Arabic or Farsi.

You can't go to PS 666 and yank a bunch of people out of AP – Middle Eastern Languages and send them into active duty, because there ain't no such thing as Advanced Placement classes in Farsi. People have to be trained in it in the Army for a over a year.

So the Defense Department, in its brilliance, decided that after getting people trained, those who turned out to be, well, don't let the Pentagon hear this: gay, needed to be tossed out of the service.

This wasn't the kind of decision that had a little impact on a handful of people. Defense basically said, hey, thanks for helping Special Forces find some of this bastards so they could ventilate them before they set off a suicide bomb in the maternity ward at Good Sam on Wilshire, but we have to discharge you.

All that was missing was The Donald's smirking fingerpointing and catchphrase. But now it looks like Condi Rice might bring some of those fired linguists back to work at the State Department...

During her testimony, Rice expressed concern about the lack of qualified linguists in the armed forces. Ackerman, a longtime opponent of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell,� suggested having the State Department hire back gay linguists, because unlike the Defense Department, it doesn’t have such a policy.

“It seems that the military has gone around and fired a whole bunch of people who speak foreign languages such as Farsi, Arabic, etc., after they trained them in their foreign language school for 63 weeks,� Ackerman said. “Presumably they all passed all kinds of security clearances. Many of them told on themselves and were fired.�

Qualified linguists plus security clearances plus available for employment plus plenty of job openings. Only a government agency could be dumb enough not to find the sum that works for this equation.

Fired, Arabic, Linguists, Military

Sought weed, found bush I've been trying to find tales of fired people that don't make me start hearing the Cops theme in my head. But I couldn't stay away from posting this charming story on a bet...

The day after her arrest, Ward met Pane at the parking lot of the Doral Arrowwood Resort and Country Club, drove off for about 20 minutes then returned and dropped her off. Ward maintains that he was trying to develop Pane as a confidential informant in order to arrest her marijuana supplier. Pane testified that she and Ward drove off to a secluded spot and that he masturbated while she squatted on a tree branch and defecated to satisfy his sexual fetish.

Sounds like he thought seeing bush in the trees was better than finding weed in her pockets.

Fired, Cop, Dominatrix, Weed, Bad boys whatcha gonna do

Voldemort gets Qantas consort fired Is all fair in love and war? Maybe not for love, and definitely not for Lisa Robertson.

She was the flight attendant who made actor Ralph Fiennes flight to India to talk about AIDS awareness a pleasurable trip into the Mile High Club...

Robertson admitted being star-struck when she recognised Fiennes as she offered him a drink on flight QF123 from Darwin to Mumbai, India, on January 24.

She gushed that she was a big fan and loved his movie The English Patient, before apologising for being unprofessional.

Robertson said Fiennes reassured her that he didn't mind and told her he thought she was "gorgeous".

Qantas felt her level of customer service, including an encounter in-flight and again in a Mumbai hotel, were a little more than what Ralph was entitled to with his frequent flyer status. So she's been fired. No word on whether Unicef still wants Ralph and Little Ralphie speaking on HIV/AIDS issues for them.

Fired, Ralph Fiennes, Qantas

Teacher scrambled over egg issue Kelly Romenesko lost her job as French teacher in a Catholic school system in Wisconsin. The reason for her 2004 firing is kind of eggs-trodinary...

ACES/Xavier officials, including former ACES president Joseph Bound, testified during a hearing in October that they terminated Romenesko because she'd undergone in vitro fertilization, a procedure the church opposes, in violation of the morals clause in her teaching contract.

But ACES/Xavier didn't fire Romenesko until after she’d become pregnant — almost a month after she'd told her supervisor she needed time away from work for IVF treatment. Romenesko gave birth to twin girls in 2005.

The judge was pretty eggs-act in his probable cause ruling...

In his findings, Administrative Law Judge James Schacht wrote, "...by considering Ms. Romenesko's pregnancy, even in part, as a factor in his (Bound's) decision to terminate her employment, ACES/Xavier discriminated against her on the basis of sex."

Kelly and her attorney don't want to eggs-tract any revenge from the schools. For once I'm not kidding, they're going to try to mediate a settlement. Kelly probably wants to put this eggs-asperating episode behind her.

Fired, Kelly Romenesko, In Vitro, Catholic

Koko blamed for two firings Conditions at the Gorilla Foundation turned nipply for two women who worked there. Their boss had an unusual request, relayed from Koko the talking gorilla...

Nancy Alperin and Kendra Keller claim they were told to show their nipples to the gorilla, Koko, as a way of bonding.

Sign language requests from Koko, the "talking" gorilla, were allegedly relayed to the women by the Gorilla Foundation's head, Francine Patterson.

Francine thought, I mean, Koko thought it was time for a change of scenery. That's what Francine said...

Their lawsuit said: "Through sign language, as interpreted by Patterson, Koko 'demanded' plaintiffs remove their clothing and show Koko their breasts."

It went on: "On one such occasion, Patterson said, 'Koko, you see my nipples all the time. You are probably bored with my nipples. You need to see new nipples. I will turn my back so Kendra can show you her nipples'."

Francine, I mean, Koko never had that request fulfilled. If the former workers complied it would be all over YouTube, wouldn't it? It's not YouTube's stupid useless search at fault. Not that I've looked or anything.

Fired, Koko, Gorilla Foundation

Sorry about that, Chief What's a rookie cop to do? Chris King shows up at a local bar, because a woman called and said another woman was violating a restraining order. Sounds pretty simple, stop by the bar, put the cuffs on her, and drag her off to jail.

It got complicated...

When Officer King arrived, he found his boss, Police Chief Michael Bungartz, sitting at the bar with the woman suspected of violating the order.

According to a criminal complaint filed against the Chief, Chief Bungartz told the officer to "rethink his decision."

Bungartz believed the woman, a friend of his, was not violating the order.

The Chief earned himself some criminal charges. Two for obstructing an officer, two for disorderly conduct. The Chief had a buddy, though. The Mayor. Cop Chris was in it deep...

Summerfield wanted King to agree to extend his probationary period an extra six months. The mayor told WCCO-TV he had never heard of another officer having to extend the period.

"I thought we could take the time to work some things out," said Summerfield.

He refused to elaborate on what those "things" might have been.

King refused to extend his probation, and was summarily fired, three days before his probation expired.

Cop Chris became Citizen Chris. He's got a lawyer, but probably no real chance of getting his job back because of that probationary thing. Shame he didn't have the mayor as his friend.

Fired, Chris King, Cop, Bad boys whatcha gonna do

Intent to adopt surprisingly not a good reason for firing "Enterprise – we'll pick you up." And drop you off at the unemployment office, or whatever they call it in Jolly Olde England.

Anna Coulombeau worked for Enterprise UK until she took some holiday leave and attended pre-adoption classes. She came back to a boss who wasn't pleased to see her and fired her on the spot...

She alleged her boss had unfairly sacked her and said she would be "no bloody use to me" if she went ahead with plans to adopt.

Litigationality ensued. Adoptive Anna's ex-boss accused her of dishonesty and making a number of mistakes. He claimed he didn't know about the whole adoption thing.

He didn't find any takers for that claim...

The three-man tribunal, sitting in Nottingham, agreed unanimously that her dismissal was unfair and related to her plans to adopt. It also agreed that she had suffered sex discrimination.

In its ruling, the panel said of Mr Houghton: "As a woman he saw her as likely to need time off for adoption purposes including ultimately adoption leave.

"It is why he orchestrated her dismissal."

Forget about calling her a golddigger. She's promised to donate any money above her legal costs to a couple of charities. That would be a good way to really stick it to her ex-manager and make him look even more like a cretin.

Fired, Enterprise, Anna Coulombeau

Firemen want their chief hosed out of office This tussle between firefighters and their chief in St. Paul, Minnesota has given me one of the most bizarre quotes I've seen in the six or seven months I've been writing the Fired Blog. Check out this turn of phrase...

"I've got two testicles says it passes," boasts Pat Flanagan, president of the International Association of Fire Fighters Local 21, which represents some 400 employees. "I've been on the department for 24 years and I've never seen morale this low."

That's some vibrant imagery. I know firefighters are supposed to be tough, but that's a hell of a bet to make. Pat may be hedging his bets though, since he's talking about a no-confidence vote that could lead to a firing, and not the odds that Doug Holton will get booted from his job as chief.

It sounds like firing the guy will be harder than talking Al Gore into lobbying for oil drilling in ANWR...

"I have a six-year term," he says. "My term ends in 2009."

Indeed, it would be extremely difficult to remove Holton before his contract expires.

"To fire a fire chief through the city charter is almost impossible even if we wanted to do that," says St. Paul City Council President Kathy Lantry.

I'm sure the chief won't be at all vengeful about this if the vote goes against him but fails to dislodge him from his post.

Fired, St. Paul, Firefighters, Union, Chief

Aw rats Sometimes these posts are as easy as one headline...

Rats invade NYC restaurant

two headline...

Officials To Review Rat-Infested KFC Inspection

three headline...

Inspector Off Duty after Passing Rat-Filled Restaurant

The health inspector must have misunderstood the training part where they told her to look for rats. "Yep, I found some," wasn't the right reason to pass the KFC-Taco Bell on its inspection. Only in New York.

Fired, Rats, KFC, New York, Health Inspector