Game over for PlayStation's Kutaragi Sony's Ken Kutaragi, the legend behind the PlayStation who hinted the new PS3 would cost more than a yummy can of Beluga caviar, just found out what a screwed-up product loss costs. Yup, Sony pulled the plug on Gamemaster Ken, and kicked him upstairs where he can do the least amount of damage.

The PS3 was going to cost a lot of the green stuff, everyone knew that. Sony swore up down and sideways it would drop 2 million shiny new consoles around the world at launch. They might have 200,000 in North America before the end of the year, thanks to Sony's insistence that Betamax Blu-Ray needed to be in the PS3.

Those fancy Blu-Ray components were harder to find than humility backstage at a U2 concert. And unfortunately for Ken, his big mouth was more than noteworthy...

The bungling of the launch hasn't worked in Ken Kutaragi's favour either. The outspoken worldwide head of PlayStation at Sony was this week replaced by Kaz Hirai, who until now has lead Sony's console charge in the US.

Kutaragi's competence was called into question recently by a report that said he had been tardy in negotiating for exclusive games for the PS3.

I'm enjoying just sitting back and watching people shell out big bucks for the PS3 on eBay and Craigslist. They get to find all the bugs that Sony's QA missed, and then try to get Sony's "legendary" customer service to fix their PS3.

You know it's a mess when a cluster-cluck like this makes Microsoft look good. They might actually sell some 360s this year.

Technorati Tags: Fired, Sony, Who is your daddy now Playstation

Frisco firings over video, 2006 edition Last summer, a video made for viewing by 49ers players by the team's public relations director ended up being leaked to the media, with Kirk Reynolds fired for the (depending on your point of view) offending video...

Proving he's a better safety than a movie reviewer, the 49ers' Tony Parish described the content as "the same type of sarcasm and satire" that catapulted comedian Dave Chappelle to fame.

What that conveniently leaves out is that Chappelle is offensive AND funny. Reynold's video gets it only half right. It's chock-full with racist, sexist stereotypes and mocks San Francisco mayor Gavin Newsom as a glad-handing bribe taker.

Criticizing a politician for being a bribe-taker may be like accusing a rattlesnake of having harmful venom in its bites, but the politicians usually have lawyers who are equally deadly when it comes to slander and libel suits.

It's over a year later now, and maybe offensive videos are becoming de rigeur in the city by the Bay. Because another one has come to light, this time from (wait for it) police officers.

After an investigation that started not long after the scribes at the Chronicle were enjoying the antics of the 49ers training video, it looks like seven cops may be fired for their efforts at emulating Steven Spielberg. Or maybe Roger Corman...

The disciplinary action results from a nearly yearlong internal investigation, after city officials uncovered the 28-minute video containing scenes of a white officer driving over a black homeless woman and a traffic cop pulling over a woman and ogling her. Mayor Gavin Newsom and Police Chief Heather Fong quickly condemned the clips, calling them racist, sexist and homophobic.

The video was made for the enjoyment of officers at a Christmas party last year. Merry Christmas 2006 officers!

Technorati Tags: Fired, Cops, San Francisco, Bad boys whatcha gonna do

Leftovers? No thanks, I'm good This isn't a purely fired story, more of a "doomed restaurant owner" kind of tale.

There this place in Syracuse called the Dinosaur Bar-B-Que, popular with the Harley-riding, denim-wearing set. Unfortunately for owner John Stage, a lot of patrons went home with more than the complimentary breath mints and toothpicks...

At least 600 people came down with a gastrointestinal illness after eating at a popular biker bar and restaurant, health officials said Friday.

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention were notified because the people who may have been affected were from across the country, Morrow said. Patrons from as far away as Massachusetts, New Jersey, Vermont and California have reported symptoms.

Some were sickened after eating at the restaurant, while others became ill after being exposed to those who had, health officials said.

The most common symptoms include nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, abdominal cramps and chills lasting 12 to 48 hours.

Imagine being the restaurant owner, laying awake in a pool of sweat, thinking about dozens of 260-pound bikers locked in their bathrooms...all swearing a brutal vengeance through a haze of Imodium and Pepto-Bismol upon the owner of the place that's responsible for their discomfort.

Yes, every mile they ride, each bump aggravating the Ring of Fire caused by the, ahem, symptoms of their G-I distress making them angrier and angrier...and the restaurant owner looking at having to reopen and be on the premises in a couple of days. The guy probably will spend the day hitting the dirt every time he hears a Harley rev hard on the streets.

I'd considered going out for tacos tonight, but I think I'll stay in and have a piece of toast and a glass of boiled water instead.

Check out dates, just not on the cop computer It's summer in New Zealand, while in California it just feels like summer with wildfires tearing through the state. Being summertime (in New Zealand), it's when everyone wants to find that special someone for a little somethin'-somethin'.

No one wants to have a date with a special someone punctuated by a SWAT team executing a forced entry on your tiny apartment with a warrant for your date's arrest. Unless you're into that sort of thing, and on the Internet who knows, maybe there's a service for that particular fantasy.

Me, I'd prefer not to have my earhole enlarged by some dedicated officer jamming a gun barrel so far in that he's cleaned out the earwax in the opposite ear while my date is being cuffed and hauled away for questioning.

Here's a fired Kiwi in Wellington, who used his position in a police call center to do more than search Google to see what kind of blog posts his dates make...

"I've basically been screwed for doing something that's a common practice. I've used the information the same as everyone else has," Les Neilson said.

"If I'm socialising with people and I'm meeting new partners then I need to know the background of those partners because I don't want to put myself or the department in a compromising position.

"There's nothing that says 'I can't do that' – I've been doing it for the last 20 years."

Who out there wouldn't drop a Romeo or Juliet's particulars into a police database query, if they could? But I don't really buy his "compromising position" argument. It sounds more like he was looking to leverage his dates into a compromising position with some less than public knowledge.

Technorati Tags: Fired, Kiwi, Bad boys whatcha gonna do

Prep yourself for firing over the holidays People find it so easy to get caught up in the little things during the holiday season – shopping for gifts, planning for family get-togethers, watching the Charlie Brown Christmas special – that they may neglect a golden opportunity to skip work by playing sick.

Survey says tis the season to fake an illness...

"We do know just anecdotally in dealing with employers that there certainly is a higher rate ... associated with holidays, catching up on shopping, or spending time with family and friends," said Jennifer Sullivan, spokeswoman for CareerBuilder.com, which conducts an annual survey of employee absenteeism. "You do see a higher incidence."

The firm's survey, released this week, showed 32 percent of workers said they called in sick when they felt fine at least once in the last year, and one in 10 said they did so three times or more.

Women were more likely to take a sick day when they are not sick than men, by 37 to 26 percent, the survey said.

Cool! But beware. Calling in sick without a good reason can make you fodder for my next blog post. My new favorite author, Ellie Bishop, author of The Sick Day Handbook, has a lot of tips for faking it good...

She suggests if you're claiming a migraine headache, know there are two kinds, cluster and classic. Claiming Lyme disease is handy, because one symptom is irritability. Conjunctivitis and irritable bowel syndrome are good excuses because no one wants to hear about the symptoms.

Call in with your excuse to a co-worker early, before the boss arrives, clear your throat for five minutes beforehand and hold your nose as you speak, she suggests.

Never make up anything that might need to be proven, like a doctor's appointment or a trip to a hospital emergency room, she writes.

Only try it two or three times a year and, above all, remember your lie, she adds.

"I think we can get away with a lot more than we think we can," she said.

You might want to leave your copy of her book at home instead of bringing it to the office, or leaving it in your car where your boss can see it when she parks next to it in the morning.

Irritable bowel syndrome. Ewwwwwwww.

Technorati Tags: Fired, Making excuses, Skipping work

Santa puts himself on the fired list Oh the language she said was frightful

In the mall, it's not delightful

And based on a mom's say-so

Santa had to go, had to go, had to go

It's been a while since Utah came through for me with a nice fired story. They know how to do it in style. Ya see, they screwed over Santa Claus.

University Mall in Salt Lake City served as the setting for Santa's sending-off...

A woman accused Santa Claus of making an inappropriate comment to her teenage daughter last week.

Mall officials "found that the claims of the mother differed considerably from those of Santa and the witnesses there," general manager Rob Callas said.

But to avoid any problems, the mall sent Santa on his sleigh and called another.

Billy Bob Thornton was unavailable for comment.

Technorati Tags: Fired, Utah, Santa Claus

Cardinal coach plucked after two seasons Lots of tough injuries to your skill players, Walt Harris? A 1-11 record? Half empty stadiums? No multi-million dollar bowl bid?

Where do you think you are, someplace like Stanford that has a history of tremendous academic achievement, where athletics are important but take a back seat to scholastic accomplishment?

Ha, you are at Stanford, or I should say were at Stanford as the football coach.

How dare you offend alumni and the multiple layers of administration by failing to get the Cardinal to a bowl game? Other schools have a ton of injuries to their players. Ok, maybe not anyone in the BCS. That's no excuse dammit!...

"This has been a tough year," Athletic Director Bob Bowlsby said. "In some measure this decision was not made as a result of being 1-11 as much as it was a result of not seeing the progress in some of the critical areas we would have hoped for…"

Like alumni contributions and bowl game bonus bucks, Bobby? Because no one's complaining about graduation rates, are they? Guess who's butt is on the Gitmo waterboard next season if the next coach does not turn the Cardinal red into lots of green?

That would be you Bobby. That would be you.

Technorati Tags: Fired, Walt Harris, Stanford

Bad Santa – Yikes! edition Someone at the hiring department for Westminster Mall in Colorado may need to be just a teensy bit more diligent about background checks for prospective Santa photographers...

The Westminster Police Department says they were notified by a local news agency that they had received a tip that a registered sex offender was working at the Santa Clause set at the Westminster Mall.

Investigators looked into the situation to see if in fact the information was accurate and if any laws were being violated. Jonathan Scott Yeoman, who was employed as a photographer at the Santa Claus display, was indeed, a registered sex offender.

According to his sex offender registration there were no restrictions prohibiting him from being in contact with or around children. The charges originated in 1992 in Indiana.

There's just not a lot I can add to this. Fortunately the Rocky Mountain News came to the rescue...

...his wife helped him get the job as a photographer.

"She was instrumental in helping him slip under the wire," Jeff Angelo, president of SEPIA Photo Promotions, said today. SEPIA is the company that contracts with the mall for their Santa Claus photo display.

Angelo said the wife of Jonathan Yeoman, a registered sex offender, was the manager of the photo display and was responsible for handling his application. Angelo said Yeoman used his middle name, Scott, as his first name, which failed to bring up his history when the company did its background check.

Here's a hint for the geniuses in the human resources department that blew the background check. Next time, try getting a Social Security number along with the name of an applicant because, and you may be completely shocked to learn this, sometimes people do lie about themselves.

Technorati Tags: Fired, Bad Santa, Westminster

Bad Santa – U.K. edition Believe it or not, store Santas in the United Kingdom are just as lewd and crude to teenage girls as Santas in the states. I did a double take when I saw this account from stodgy Brit shopping institution Harrods, preferred by royalty and other shoppers...

A Harrods Santa has been sacked after complaints that he racially abused an Asian family who came to visit his grotto.

Santa allegedly asked the family: 'What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be shopping in Tesco?'

When the family – thought to be British – started to leave, he is said to have lewdly asked whether their teenage daughter wanted to stay and sit on his knee.

Now I have to wonder about this. I have to assume the Santa in Iowa made, allegedly, a similar comment that caused a mother to complain resulting in that Santa's firing. So maybe the application for Santas worldwide needs to include the following question -

"Can you resist the incredible temptation to ask a teenage girl in lewd and lascivious terms to sit on your knee, or are you still mentally fourteen years old and incapable of keeping yourself under control?"

Yes – I can keep myself from being a stupid prat around teenage girls.

No – You go around once in this world, and who am I to resist the call of the wild? (Someone else's problem, we think, because you sure as hell aren't working here. Please ask security to escort you out.)

Technorati Tags: Fired, Bad Santa, Harrods

Cop gives himself a bonus and a pink slip Somewhere around Pontiac, MI, Craig Cejmer (don't ask, I haven't a clue on how to pronounce it) decided that his duties on the Sheriff's Alcohol Enforcement Team merited a little spiff...

Prosecutors said Cejmer pulled over the motorist on suspicion of drunken driving. Cejmer started searching the motorist, removing large amounts of money from his pockets, Assistant Prosecutor Paul Walton said Monday.

Police say after the man passed a preliminary breath test, Cejmer returned some of the money and let him go. The victim later realized he was missing $1,700. He went directly to Pontiac Police, who put him in contact with the Sheriff's Office, which began an internal investigation.

Craig's lawyer said the money just fell between the seats, and that he brought it to his supervisors before he was asked about it anyway. They fired him after an investigation.

I'm sure this happens to people all the time. You're collecting money from your friends for a beer run, everyone's just tossing cash at you, $1,700 happens to fall between the seats on the way to pick up the keg. Totally understandable.

Technorati Tags: Fired, Money, Bad boys whatcha gonna do

So much for that experiment I figured that as Thanksgiving was arriving it would be a good time to quietly open up comments on the blog.

Ha ha. I forgot how to laugh.

Five good comments, for which I thank the commenters. 25 junk, spam, naughty, useless comments, for which I wish their contributors some quality time at the center of a trash fire.

I'll keep them open for another week on posts. If the signal exceeds the noise, they'll stay. If people would rather read and run ('cause this is the Internet, who has time to comment?) I'll uncheck the comment feature.

What do you think, lads and ladies?

In the meantime, go see why a Wicked Weasel can be hazardous to your employment health, and even a crippling disease won't save you from getting pink slipped.

Battlin' principal loses fight for job Adults of a certain age can remember a time when getting a butt-kicking from a teacher or the principal was just part of the experience they would come to know nostalgically as "childhood."

Shawn "The Principal" Hearn fought four bouts at the High School level, three during the first week of classes...

On Aug. 28, the first day of classes for the newly hired principal, Hearn grabbed a female student, whom he was trying to discipline, by her waist from behind and inadvertently scratched her lower back, according to Mark Roy, who is familiar with the incident because he is a member of the Eastern restructuring team that worked with Hearn.

The next day, Hearn was involved in an incident with a parent, according to a school official who would not provide any details of that altercation.

On Aug. 31, Hearn grabbed another student who became irate in his office, according to a police report. That student fell to the floor and required two stitches for a head injury. No charges were filed in the incident, and police at the scene ruled it an accident.

The fourth fight resulted in Shawn and another student throwin' down in the hallway. 5-0 arrived to break it up and get the gladiators charged with misdemeanor simple assault. Those charges were dropped later.

The DC school district has decided to fire Principal Shawn. I guess they want a fighter who can float like a butterfly and sting like a spelling bee instead.

Technorati Tags: Fired, Principal, DC

Wal-Mart sells out its marketing exec For such a boring company, Wal-Mart picked a head of marketing in a matchup that makes about as much sense as Charlotte and Bob in Lost in Translation. If you're still wondering what Bob whispered to Charlotte at the end of the movie, he said this:

"Do you think this POS gets greenlit if Sofia's dad isn't Francis Ford Coppola?"

Another mismatch came to an end that, if there were whispered words at the end, probably contained a few F-bombs. Wal-Mart hired Julie Roehm to be their marketing savior, but she proved much more fun than they anticipated in Arkansas...

But a year later, that executive, Julie Roehm, is out of a top job at Wal-Mart amid allegations, which she denies, that she accepted gifts from ad agencies, maintained a personal relationship with a subordinate and showed favoritism toward potential vendors.

Woops. More? Why not...

While some of the details are in dispute, several people briefed on the matter said that Wal-Mart dismissed Ms. Roehm and a lower-ranking marketing colleague, Sean Womack, after deciding that the pair had a personal relationship that violated the company’s strict ethics policy, which forbids fraternizing with subordinates.

"Fraternizing" in corp-speak means freak dancing without all the clothes. Or in Julie's case, without her husband's presence (again, woops.) Naturally, both Julie and Sean deny any Astroglide-laden activities took place. All that probably means is they were smart enough not to take pictures.

More shockers for the bunch in Bentonville took place...

She was spotted taking a ride in an Aston Martin owned by the chief executive of one agency, Draft FCB. At another time, she was seen riding in a BMW convertible with the president of another, GSD&M, according to people familiar with the matter.

And she attended a September dinner given by Draft FCB at the Manhattan hot spot Nobu, during which she lavishly praised the ad agency and appeared to suggest it had the upper hand in the contest more than a month before an official announcement of the winner was due.

That's when the fabulously wealthy Walton clan gave Julie an upper hand. It pointed to the exit. Maybe she should have taken a ride in a Ford F-150 instead?

Technorati Tags: Fired, Julie Roehm, Wal-Mart

Trump Junior hears those two words It's not enough that he probably has to sit through reruns of The Apprentice with Daddy Donald at Trump Tower ("Did you see that finger-point son?" "Yes, Dad, for the eightieth time.") Now Junior Donald has heard those famous words tossed in his direction.

His poor performance as a member of the board at one of Daddy's uber-swank buildings finally irritated other residents enough to take action...

The 28-year-old heir apparent to the Trump real-estate empire has been ousted from his own condo board in a coup d'état during which tenants alleged "arrogant" and "belligerent" behavior and dubious management practices by the board.

Trump Jr. was blindsided at a meeting on Nov. 8, when one angry resident wielding 150 proxy votes replaced the entire seven-member board of 220 Riverside Blvd., one of seven swanky residences at Trump Place, daddy Donald's $3 billion Upper West Side development.

"They treated us with scorn - so it's good riddance," one tenant told The Post.

Junior has accepted his defeat with uncommon grace and will support the new board members now operating in his place. And if you believe that I have some terrific deals on desert property in SoCal you'll just want to buy into...

Trump Jr. called the election "possibly fraudulent" and told The Post he plans to battle back against the resident, Eugenia Kaye.

"I don't like what happened," Trump Jr. said. "What Kaye did was very underhanded."

She "spun a tale about purported mismanagement" then "sought out those tenants she thought would side with her," he said.

Side with her they did. You're fired Junior.

Technorati Tags: Fired, Trump Junior, Ha Ha

Hey, driver, tell those kids to chill Too late. Not only did Fran Yourn drop common sense off on the corner before giving her young riders a wild trip, she's been in trouble over her driving before.

This time, there was video of her Magic School Bus run, and the school district was spoiled for choice when it came to picking a reason to put her driving career out of service...

Shocking video captured by a student reveals complete chaos, kids horsing around in a frenzy, out of their seats. "That's scary, I don't know what else she lets them do on the bus," says Michelle.

But it doesn't end there. The video also shows two students are hanging off the emergency roof hanger, as the bus driver slams on the brakes. "Kids would go flying and I thought oh my God, somebody could get hurt. That was my concern was the kids, I don't think someone who acts like that and allows that should be a bus driver," she says. Michelle showed the footage to the Altar Valley School District and they immediately fired the bus driver.

"I've been in the school business for 21 years, I have never seen anything like this," explains Altar Valley Superintendent Doug Roe.

The cops added a couple of counts of endangerment to Fran's adventurous driving record. Her past misdeeds include driving without insurance, driving with a suspended license, and five traffic citations in Pima County, AZ. Care to bet her favorite video game is GTA: Vice City?

She'll have plenty of time to catch up with her hero while watching old reruns of The Simpsons. Unless someone else hires her to drive a bus.

Technorati Tags: Fired, Bus Driver, Otto-man

The best firing in the NFL this year After the Baltimore Ravens lost to Carolina, 23-21, in mid-October, Brian Billick told his best bud Jim Fassel to pack his crap up, get out, and don't even think of taking any CD's with you because you didn't pay for them you bastard, and certainly not ABBA's greatest hits.

Ravens record when Jim was fossilized: 4-2 Ravens record overall, now that Brian calls the plays: 10-3

Yup, 6-1 since Sunny Jim was sent off into the sunset, and that only loss came to the Bengals in Cincy on a Thursday after a Sunday game. Brian's a genius. He'll tell you that if you ask him.

Don't cop an attitude with a state trooper How dumb is a former city police detective from New Jersey? Let me count the Gary Wade, I mean, ways, for you.

1. He flew up behind a pair of state troopers in their marked cruiser in the left lane of the Garden State Parkway, then blew past them in his unmarked police car.
2. He gave one of the troopers, Michael Colaner, non-stop grief, including refusing to hand over his ID.
3. He continued to complain after being told he was under arrest, and refused to cooperate with the trooper.

The trooper gave Detective Gary the treatment normally reserved for the upstanding citizens appearing each week on Cops...

After some brief conversation which is difficult to hear on the tape, Colaner pulls his gun and points it at Wade, who is sitting in the vehicle.

The trooper tries to pull Wade from the vehicle, and when he emerges, the trooper sprays pepper spray into Wade's face before placing him on the ground and handcuffing him.

Detective Gary became Citizen Gary after his employer fired him. Now Citizen Gary wants a million dollars for his trouble. I think the jury ought to toss him out of court, after uploading the video of him getting owned by the troopers to YouTube.

Technorati Tags: Fired, Detective, New Jersey

Super DUI-busting cop busted for... Wait for it.

DUI. And it's a doozy...

Back in 2004, Police Officer Greg Heiken got an award from the Illinois Department of Transportation for making the most DUI arrests in his county.

It's a very different story now, as Heiken, 37, faces a charge of driving under the influence of alcohol in a crash that left 10 people hurt.

Groggy Greg tried refusing a blood alcohol test, but authorities took one against his will because of the injuries in the multi-car pileup he caused. If it turns out his BAC resembles Johan Santana's ERA this past season, the Gregster will be hung out to dry by his department.

Yes, I know, another cop story. Low hanging fruit, people, low hanging fruit. I celebrated by finding another snazzy cop image for you.

Technorati Tags: Fired, Cop, DUI, Yikes, Bad boys whatcha gonna do

Swedes ready to fire their town's name The funniest part of the story about the citizens of Fjuckby in Sweden wanting to fire their name isn't the juvenile yucks that come with the all-too-obvious wordplay fun I can have with it.

It's the fact that the story appeared on the Fox News web site, and it's humorous in a funny way. Must be an intern; if so, watch out, your lack of seriousness could get you a chained-in-the-hold seat on the next flight to Gitmo once the Fox News evangelical viewers see your cunning linguistics...

"There should not be any doubt at all that, as a result of relatively new associations, the pronunciation and spelling of the place name 'Fjuckby,' today arouses ridicule, teasing and hilarity in the general public," wrote Katriina Flensburg on behalf of herself and her neighbors.

"This regrettable fact engenders feelings of weariness, embarrassment and conditioned shame among villagers, who are often forced against their will to take a tiresome 'defensive stance' with regard to the name of their home town," the letter continued.

The delegation has requested that the name Fjukeby be reinstated. This was the common spelling up until as late as the 1930s.

If Fjuckby gets its way it's possible that cities such as Anusviken, Arslet and Dicken may fight to be the next in line to eliminate their embarrassment.

I can see where Fjukeby would be an improvement. Really. Just how do you pronounce that again?

Technorati Tags: Fired, Fjuckby, Fox News, A Møøse once bit my sister

OJ's biggest fan snuffed by Old Man Murdoch Casey Jones has nothing on Judith Regan when it comes to train wrecks. The one-time money machine for Rupert Scrooge's cash bins made her last deposit by backing OJ Simpson's TV and book deal where he would explain how, presumably in an alternate universe where he's not guilty as sin, he could have murdered two people that he didn't murder in the first place.

Judith got this train wreck a-rollin' to the point where a book was ready to hit the shelves at Barnes & Noble and the two-part TV show would have aired. After several million people suggested this would be a Remarkably Bad Idea, the show got canned and the book ended up recycled into toilet paper (I hope.)

It looks like this change of fortune for Judith sent her on something of a downward spiral...

The News Corporation had profited handsomely from Ms. Regan’s tendency to shoot from the hip, but when she started firing inside the corral, well then, that was another matter.

If she did it, here’s how: Ms. Regan first responded to public opprobrium over the Simpson project with an unhinged eight-page defense of her interview. And then, after the plug was pulled on Nov. 21, she failed to accept the decision. (When Mr. Murdoch says something is dead, put away the paddles and pull up the hearse.)

Instead she railed against HarperCollins, the News Corporation book division that owns her ReganBooks imprint, while taping her Sirius Satellite Radio show, according to Ron Hogan, an editor at GalleyCat, which is a book-oriented blog. And finally, she made offensive remarks in a phone call to one of the company’s lawyers on Friday, according to a report in The Los Angeles Times.

“I think someone looked a little bit down the road and saw train wrecks everywhere,� said a HarperCollins executive who declined attribution because the case might end up in litigation.

Some of Judith's railing include dropping some anti-Semite rap on that lawyer, along with directing them at HarperCollins' exec Jane Friedman.

I think the next time Judith gets work, she'll be doing a comedy double-bill with Michael Richards somewhere in the Dakotas in January.

Technorati Tags: Fired, Judith Regan, OJ

Judith Part Deux – The Slur Edition Dear sweet Judith Regan. Completely unprepared to deal with being kicked out of the News Corp compound. Now the lawyers are in play, because Sweet Judith didn't really say anything you could call anti-Semitic.

Just take her word for it...

“‘Of all people, the Jews should know about ganging up, finding common enemies and telling the big lie,’� Ms. Regan said, according to a transcript of Mr. Jackson’s notes provided by Gary Ginsberg, an executive vice president of the News Corporation.

According to the transcript, Ms. Regan went on to say that the literary agent Esther Newberg; HarperCollins’s executive editor, David Hirshey; HarperCollins’s president, Jane Friedman, and Mr. Jackson “constitute a Jewish cabal against her.�

What, you don't wanna take her word for it? How about her lawyer's word, that's good, right?

A lawyer for Ms. Regan, Bert Fields, denied that Ms. Regan had said there was a “Jewish cabal against her,� saying she used only the word “cabal� in the conversation, and it came in response to a question from Mr. Jackson. But he acknowledged that she had made some version of the first statement, drawing attention to the fact that her boss and others involved in the controversy over the aborted O.J. Simpson project were Jewish.

He denied, though, that this reflected any anti-Semitism. “There is nothing insulting to Jewish people in saying that Jews should particularly understand what it is to be victims of the big lie,� Mr. Fields said. “They were looking for an excuse to fire her, and they fired her and called it anti-Semitic. It ain’t anti-Semitic.�

I'm glad that's cleared up now.

Technorati Tags: Still Fired, Judith Regan, Still Guilty, OJ

The Donald doesn't dump Tara Conner Blonde haired
Beauty queen
Behaved badly
Big Apple
Boys, blow, and bussing girls
Big trouble
Berated by The Donald
Blowin' in the wind
Biding his time
Booms The Donald
Be fair, I shall be
Bestow another chance
Bless the saintly Donald
Blubbered the babe
Bye now

Technorati Tags: Not Fired, Tara Conner, The Donald

Cubicles are no place for prayer A couple of University of Texas at Arlington employees probably should have just shoved an anonymous note telling a co-worker to be less of a rhymes-with-witch instead of sauntering past the church and state boundaries.

If they had just practiced the time-honored method of MYOB, they would not have lost their jobs or felt the need to burden the courts with yet another lawsuit about being fired...

Evelyne M. Shatkin, an administrative assistant, and Linda Shifflett, a development funds assistant, claim in a lawsuit filed today in federal court in Fort Worth that their termination constitutes religious discrimination.

The suit claims that a male worker was having problems with another employee and shared the information with Shifflett. Shifflett, Shatkin and the man stayed after work on March 3 to pray for the woman, who was on vacation. The three met at the woman's cubicle about 5:30 p.m., believing no one else was there.

Shatkin prayed for the situation, and according to her religious tradition, dabbed olive oil on the door frame of the cubicle. The oil left no mark and did not damage the cubicle, according to the suit.

We've got the religious discrimination angle, the sex discrimination angle (since the man was not fired despite being the one who instigated the whole mess), and age discrimination (the fellow was under 40, and I'll guess the gals were older.)

If you're having trouble with a co-worker, olive oil isn't the answer. Try spiking her lunch in the breakroom fridge with some tasty Habañero sauce instead. Mmm, Habañero peppers.

Technorati Tags: Fired, Texas, Prayer, Co-workers

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Pageant gods take their revenge Fear the undying gods of pageantry, for they have endured for aeons, ever since the first time three cavemen sat around a big rock while a bevy of cave-beauties strutted in bearskin suits and performed berry gathering tricks that were so raw in their directness, that decorum prevents me from describing them here.

Lo, the gods were displeased when Tara Conner and her gal kissing, coke snorting, boy chasing ways did not earn her a dismissal from Miss USA. The Donald's mercy did not reflect the needs of the gods of pageantry, and they have made their displeasure known, for is it not written "defy us for one queen, and two shall fall in her shadow?"

Fine, it's not written anywhere except here, but you can quote me on it.

Tarty Tara's roommate, Miss Teen USA Katie Blair, did some underage drinking in the Big Apple with the now-rehabbing Miss USA. That left one group really unhappy with Kahlua Katie...

Mothers Against Drunk Driving said Wednesday it was severing ties with Miss Teen USA Katie Blair because it was "disappointed" by news reports that she had been spotted partying with Miss USA Tara Conner in New York clubs.

"We do not feel, at this time, that Ms. Blair can be an effective spokesperson on underage drinking and will not ask her to represent MADD in future initiatives," said Heidi Castle, a spokeswoman for MADD, in a statement.

It's kind of hard to be taken seriously on the topic of underage drinking when all you can think about is doing body shots off Katie's navel. The gods of pageantry wreaked a more fearsome wrath on Miss Nevada Katie Rees, who was, heh heh, stripped of her title. It says so, in an article accompanied by pictures that the New York Times could only dream of publishing...

A Miss USA contestant has been stripped of her title after racy photos of her were made public.

Told you they said that.

The shocking photos came hot on the fashionable heels of a scandal that rocked reigning Miss USA Tara Conner.

The raunchy pics show Rees exposing her breasts, passionately kissing other young women, and simulating oral sex with females and a male.

Their need for vengeance sated, the pageantry gods have retired behind the curtain, where secrets like The Donald's hair are kept away from prying eyes.

Technorati Tags: Fired, Katie Blair, Katie Rees, Gods of Pageantry

Did the crime, did the time, got the pink slip It's time to give the Department of Homeland Security a hand. Having rounded up all the terrorists, locked down the borders tighter than a duck's bottom, and turned the airline travel experience into something straight out of a Le Carré novel (Cold War era – his stuff since then sucks), the ship of fools at DHS.gov have managed to pluck some low-hanging fruit in Chicago.

Give DHS credit for braving the Chicago weather when they could be partying in Georgetown, I guess. Oh and demonstrating that the whole "pay your debt to society" thing is just so much talk...

Over two dozen railroad workers in the Chicago area say they have been unjustly fired from their jobs. They say they were abruptly let go because of new, more extensive background checks required by Homeland Security.

All of the workers have criminal records, which, they say, was disclosed when they were hired. They worked for a Union Pacific subcontractor at a rail yard on Chicago's West Side.

The men who were fired are ex-felons -- most of whom were convicted of drug-related offenses. They did probation or served some time, and when that was done, they went out and got jobs. All say they made no attempt to hide their pasts when they applied and got hired. But now their pasts have come back to haunt them in the name of Homeland Security.

Railroad work isn't just sitting in the cab of the Polar Express and going to visit Santa. There's real physical labor involved, the sort that would make a typical blogger crumple into a gooey puddle. Assuming he or she didn't lose a body part when a free-rolling boxcar came gliding up silently on them.

Let's see DHS Secretary Michael Chertoff drag his ass out of DC and try to do the job these fired guys were doing for a couple of wintry weeks. Way to convince ex-felons that the only thing that pays is crime, you moron.

Technorati Tags: Fired, Chicago, Union Pacific, Railroad, Chertoff Is A Weenie

Congressional aide gets an F for fired Here's a guy who probably used the time in college his Mommy and Daddy paid thousands of dollars for to carry marshmallows in his butt cheeks up and down the halls of the dorm. Everyone has their youthful indiscretions, but for most people a flaccid GPA just won't have a lot of impact on their post-university lives.

Politics is an exception to most rules, like sanity, morality, ethics, and the ability to keep a budget. Unless you're John Kerry or President Dubya, a C average in college could affect how far you go inside the Capital Beltway.

Without the good fortune to spend one's birth passing through the thighs of the rich and powerful, a look back at too much paddling and a really pathetic GPA might have the same effect a bucket of ice water has on the drunk and dozing.

That might be why Todd Shriber, benefactor of a new Wikipedia page, tried to pull off a scheme to fix his grades that even John Hughes would have looked at and said, "no one's going to believe that'll work."

Check out the astonishing dumbness right here...

Todd Shriber, 28-year-old press aide to U.S. Rep. Denny Rehberg, R-Mont., e-mailed the security Web site attrition.org on Aug. 9, writing: "I need to urgently make contact with a hacker that would be interested in doing a one-time job for me. The pay would be good. I'm not sure what exactly the job would entail with respect to computer jargon, but I can go into rough detail upon making contact with a candidate."

Once the Congressman and his people found out, Todd was out. Instead of having to explain his crummy GPA to power brokers in Washington who probably pulled a lot of the same crap themselves in college, he gets to spend Christmas wondering if his SigEp buddies from TCU can get him in the door at a Perkins someplace.

Technorati Tags: Fired, Todd Shriber, Montana, Denny Rehberg

Fred's finest bowl game treat Joy upon joys, it's college football bowl week. Who could ever possibly think a playoff would be better than a thrilling matchup like the glamorous Motor City Bowl, played in the urban paradise of Detroit.

Even though the Middle Tennessee State Blue Raiders and Central Michigan Chippewas don't evoke thoughts of, well, anybody who's any good, both teams could probably beat the hometown NFL Lions. The local fans won't agree, because the only Lion they want to see beaten in the parking lot is Matt Millen.

But with a whole week of meaningless games for me to watch from the comfort of my futon, I thought I'd indulge in the easiest snack this side of Oreo crumbs, and share it with you. Just get the following ingredients from your favorite stop and shop -

Fritos
Chili with no beans
Shredded cheese

Heat up the chili. Dump the Fritos into a bowl. Add the chili to the beans, then drop some cheese on top. Mix it all together, then scoop it into your gaping maw. If some nice relative stuffed your Christmas card with some extra cash, you can splurge on stuff like jalapenos or salsa or sour cream too.

I don't need to mention the perfect beverage for this gourmet treat is beer, do I? Then kick back, imbibe, indulge, and join me in some synchronized swearing directed at the conference commissioners who see a football playoff as an end to the filthy lucre they scored from the bowl system. Za vashe zdorovye!

Technorati Tags: College, Football, Bowls, BCS Sucks