Flipping off the President, now that's a fireable offense George W. Bush was having a good time on the way to a Washington state fundraiser. He was waving to students and drivers on several school buses as his limo drove past.

The good times ended when a bus driver waved back, but she didn't use all five fingers...

U.S. Rep. Dave Reichert said the obscene gesture occurred as he was traveling in the president's limo in June on the way to a fundraiser in Medina.

At a freeway ramp the limo passed several Issaquah school buses. The students waved to the president and Bush waved back. Bush was having a good time until he saw the driver, Reichert said. Bush turned to Reichert and said the driver had flipped him off.

Reichert later called the school district and the driver was fired in September. A spokeswoman, Sara Niegowski, said the gesture was "not at all appropriate modeling for students on the bus."

The unnamed bus driver accepted her punishment in that context without complaint. Ha ha, I keed, I keed, her union has filed a grievance against the school district that fired her, and called it wrongful termination.

Seriously, isn't an upraised defiant middle finger protected as free speech? What do you mean "not in the workplace?" Oh.

Technorati Tags: Fired, Dubya, Flip the bird

Clock runs out on Michigan State coach John L. Smith gets to be a lame duck football coach for the rest of the Spartans season.

Who would want to play for a lame duck coach? If I were the quarterback, I'd be telling everyone to go long for the SportsCenter bomb, and screw that off-tackle run that's been getting us two yards per play. What's the coach going to do to me, his ass is gone by Thanksgiving anyway.

Getting crushed by Indiana by 25 points in the Big Ten makes big giving alumni types sad. That in turn pisses off the college administrators and other hangers-on who lap up the donation gravy.

Coaches get fired for losing and becoming unpopular. A new coach at a sucky program gets a free pass the first year. If the NCAA put the program on probation for doing everything but sell nuclear bomb plans to Iran, the coach might get the benefit of the doubt for a second year. As long as they win a game or two more.

Coaches get fired for winning games if the only loss comes to a key rival. Ohio State and Michigan know all about this.

Drop a game to the bottom dweller in your conference, by getting just completely crushed where no one can tell if the players or the coaches quit first, and that pretty much gives the coach a choice of aisle seat or window for the trip out of town.

John L said this would be his last job. Enjoy that retirement, Johnny. I just don't see a job in alumni relations opening up for you at Michigan State, Louisville, Idaho, Utah State, or wherever else you've coached.

Technorati Tags: Fired, Michigan State, John L Smith, It was over when they lost their homecoming game

Cincy DJ forcibly signed off the air WLW fired its long time loudmouth sports talker Andy Furman for stepping just a little too far over the line in talking about his hometown Bengals.

Definitely some good stuff here, but I'm surprised that the trash talking wide receiver Andy got in a war of words with was the unpronounceable T.J. Houshmandzadeh instead of the motor-mouthed Chad Johnson...

Furman's attack on Houshmandzadeh was the latest in Furman's controversial career, during which he had angered Reds and Bengals management and players, university coaches and presidents, and listeners.

On Oct. 6, Furman said on the air that Houshmandzadeh had called him a "punk-ass white boy."

Houshmandzadeh denied making the remark.

"I told him, 'Andy Furman, you can ---- yourself.' That's the bottom line. And he twisted it into all whatever he wants to," Houshmandzadeh said several days later. "What he did was wrong. ... This time he took it too far."

Andy wants to stay in the Cincy area, but one fan wishes he'd go someplace else, probably where the local weather forecast features sulphurous clouds, leaping flames, and a 100 percent chance of brimstone in the mornings...

Furman's firing was cheered by Sheri Edmundson-Wood, 32, of Anderson Township, who called it "a very, very long time coming." She has disliked him since 1990, when Furman called her a "slut." He made the remark when Edmundson-Wood, then 16, had called to wish Furman's co-host at the time, Cris Collinsworth, a belated happy birthday.

Technorati Tags: Fired, Andy Furman, Bengals

Stop the presses, reporter fired for union organizing It used to be the Teamsters who would drop the hammer on someone for trying to get in their way. But that was a long time ago, and laws like RICO have done a lot to reduce the number of people being fitted for cement New Balances and taken for boat rides and impromptu deep sea diving classes.

So the Teamsters are leaving things to a group of people even more dangerous than the button men who made their bones by irreparably breaking the bones of others. That's right, they're calling in the attorneys to help out a fired reporter, who had her walking papers printed up by the Santa Barbara News-Press...

However, executives at the News-Press displayed their anti-union colors by unlawfully terminating a long-time journalist last week in retaliation for her role in union organizing. The journalist, Melinda Burns, was a 21-year employee with the newspaper. Since the employees voted overwhelmingly to join the Teamsters' Graphic Communications Conference (GCC) in September, the paper's executives have sought to overturn the election. Since July, more than two dozen editors and reporters have quit or been fired.

News-Press owner Wendy McCaw may want to have someone fetch her some takeout from local eateries instead of dropping by herself. No matter how good the food is someplace.

Technorati Tags: Fired, Reporter, Union, News-Press, Michael Corleone

And again, a radio host fired for mouthing off Now I haven't been blogging very long for the charming, sophisticated, and dead sexy people at SimplyHired for very long on the Fired blog. But I've learned something over the past couple of months. Ok, the last couple of days.

If you are a radio DJ, mouthing off about other people is a time-honored part of the job. It is expected that you will irritate someone somewhere, because if you don't no one else will listen and you'll lose your job anyway.

There are three ways the truly dedicated DJ can accelerate the firing process.

1) Offer to sexually abuse the 4-year-old daughter of a rival DJ

2) Call a star wide receiver on the local NFL squad a racist.

3) Refer to a political candidate as a fat lesbian.

Haven't heard about that last one yet? Call it dateline Boston then, and wave those pink slips at John DePetro, ex DJ...

"The comments were completely inappropriate, derogatory and will not be tolerated," said Jason Wolfe, a vice president at Entercom Boston, which owns WRKO, in a statement. "I met with our corporate staff last night after listening to the tapes, and we decided to terminate John at that meeting."

DePetro told the Globe today said he was "stunned" by his firing and that he called Grace Ross to apologize for calling her a "fat lesbian." He explained that he was exasperated that Ross and independent Christy Mihos were eating up time during Wednesday's debate. Recalling his remarks on the radio, DePetro told his listeners that he wished someone would "tell the fat lesbian to shut up."

"I didn't violate any laws. There was no obscene language," DePetro said Friday. "I know it's mean but she is technically obese and lives an alternative lifestyle. It's kind of mean. What if someone yelled about Kerry Healey being a spoiled white b---h or Mihos being an arrogant wealthy egomaniac."

DePetro apologized on the air after making the remark. Ross describes herself on her campaign website as "a white lesbian living in Worcester" and life-long activist for gay/lesbian civil rights and other "progressive causes."

The potential ballot listings would be a lot more interesting if John created them. Imagine going into the booth and your choices for governor are "condom-pilfering poozer" and "elevator gas-passer" instead of Democrat and Republican. That would make the exit poll reports a lot more interesting.

Technorati Tags: Fired, John DePetro, radio, Massachusetts

Pastor fired over drugs, sex; rock 'n' roll wants to party with him I rolled off the luxurious Futon of Doom to find that every single blog and news organization had weighed in on Pastor Ted Haggard, who has got to be feeling like his surname now. Fall from grace is such an overused cliche, but boy o boy does it fit here.

Pastor Ted didn't just step out on his wife and 5 kiddies to have sex with a guy in Denver. He took crystal meth to heighten the experience too, according to his boy toy. But Pastor Ted said these rumors weren't all completely true. Just some of them. He didn't say which ones.

When Pastor Ted apologized via a letter read by another New Life Church elder on Sunday, they took measures to protect the kiddies...

Youngsters were sent from the room before elders began discussing the church crisis.

Talk about a missed opportunity. It's ok for Pastor Ted to talk with the grownups who can make up their own minds. But the kids can't learn about the real world repercussions of lying to oneself about how you feel as opposed to how you're supposed to feel.

Imagine the straightforward questions, devoid of any pretense or cushioning, they could ask Pastor Ted. By the time the first kid finished asking about massages, Pastor Ted would be wishing he was in Gitmo for a less painful session with the prison's waterboarding counselors.

Because, y'know, that would make them sinners deserving of punishment. Certainly not deserving the open arms of his ex-congregation, or his wife...

In a separate letter, Haggard’s wife drew laughter when she promised to remain with her husband and said church members no longer had to worry about her marriage being so perfect she couldn’t relate to them.

Ha ha. Those church socials coming up should be fun. "So Mrs. Haggard, my husband still opposes gay marriage, but he's not hitting on ski instructors in Boulder. Should he try that to get closer to God? Would your husband recommend that, dear?"

Technorati Tags: Fired, Pastor, Ted Haggard, New Life Church

Borat is bad karma for Dharma Sacha Baron Cohen may be topping the box office charts as Borat in "Borat!: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan" (not to mention pissing off movie ticket clerks who have to hear that title repeated by moviegoers for several hours each night), but he's persona non grata to a former US TV producer named Dharma Arthur, sez Fox News (scrolling on down please)...

“He started acting crazy. For a minute I thought he was going to open his shirt and pull out a gun. I thought, oh dear, I’ve let a lunatic in.�

Arthur tried to abort the live interview and switch to a commercial, but there was a problem. “The equipment had frozen up. We tried to do it, but couldn’t.�

McMullan managed to end the interview, and Arthur — as you see in the movie — thought that was it. But as an intern escorted Borat out, he headed into the live weather segment and continued to upset the apple cart, so to speak. The weather guy pushed Borat off his set toward the female anchor, who was offstage. “She panicked slightly,� said Arthur.

Dharma would have lost her job sooner, but then Hurricane Katrina hit and she stayed on a few more months before losing her job and becoming unemployed for three months...

The three months of unemployment was a disaster. Thanks to Katrina, Arthur’s home in Jackson had substantial damage. She moved to another small home in Panama City, where she grew up. But she missed mortgage payments on both. “I had to borrow money to get out of foreclosure,� she said. “My credit cards were cancelled.�

All told, she was in the red for about $6,500. “That’s not a lot in New York,� she said, “but here it’s everything.�

Arthur still cannot get a home phone in Panama City, and of course she has no cable. She says she has a hole in her car “the size of a serving tray� that’s patched with tape.

Need I say she won't be going to see Borat in theaters?

Technorati Tags: Fired, Borat, Dharma Arthur

Britney Fires K-Fed The greatest romance since Princess Diana and her cardiologist has come to an end. I know, I'm as stunned as you are that Britney Spears has decided to drop Eminem wanna-be Kevin Federline like a pair of shoes from Goodwill.

Irreconcilable differences have torn apart the star-crossed couple, sayeth TMZ. Maybe this is why Brits was hunting for Will Farrell on Letterman the other night.

Britney wants the kiddies, and really, can anyone see K-Mart K-Fed fighting her on this? He wants to be tied down about as much as a mouse wants to hear a very final snapping sound just after finding a tasty morsel of peanut butter on a trap.

Peanut butter works a lot better than cheese, in case you've been living in places where the only rodents in the house have Habitrails. "Rats the size of cats" is not an exaggeration in some apartments.

Speaking of big rats...

As for money, sources tell TMZ the couple, who married in Oct. 2004, has an iron-clad prenup. Not surprisingly, Spears is waiving her right to spousal support. She's also asking the judge to make each party pay their own attorney's fees.

Spears gives the date of separation as yesterday, the same day she flaunted her incredible revamped physique during a surprise appearance on David Letterman's show. Sources tell TMZ there was no single reason for Britney pulling the plug, rather, it was "a string of events."

Probably a string of girlfriends. K-Fed kinda gots a rep for that sort of thing. Just ask the other girlfriend he knocked up before tying the knot with Oops I Did It Again.

Technorati Tags: Fired, Britney, K-Fed, You cannot possibly be surprised by this

Mac Guy hung up by his hoodie Mr oh-so-smug Justin Long won't be around for any more of Apple's cooler than you advertising spots. Radar said the spots featuring PC Guy and Mac Guy only had one problem...

Virtually everyone who watches it comes away liking the "PC guy" while wanting to push the "Mac guy" under a bus.

Actually the correct desire would be wanting to push the Mac guy in front of a bus. If he ends up underneath an onrushing Metro, that's what I'd call a bonus. Slate had little love for Mac guy back in June, so they're probably not taking up a collection for him either...

...just the sort of unshaven, hoodie-wearing, hands-in-pockets hipster we've always imagined when picturing a Mac enthusiast. Mr. Mac comes off as a smug little twit, who (in the spot titled "WSJ") just happens to carry around a newspaper that has a great review of himself inside.

He'll want to carry that review to his next job interview. Steve Jobs probably doesn't do recommendation letters.

Technorati Tags: Fired, Mac guy, smug little twit

Mmm tasty! Health inspectors fired for faking it They were supposed to be on the job, fighting filth and E coli in Fort Wayne restaurants.

The Fort Wayne Five picked up pink slips instead, and even those who tried to resign ahead of their firings still got "would have been fired anyway" marked on their permanent records...

All five inspectors, including Elaine Pruitt, Larry Schmoekel and Jeff Smith, took long lunches – often in excess of two hours – and ran personal errands on work time, according to probe findings.

Can't you just see those cute little inspector faces, crammed into booths at some Perkins off the interstate, lingering over French Silk pie, while the cooks in the kitchen are taking turns sneezing into their food?

I've worked in a few restaurants. I eat in pretty much all the time. Those two statements are connected. There are just some things people were not meant to know, especially when the entrée costs $48.99. Scary stuff.

Drunk and naked is no way to go through life, officer I've got to hand it to law enforcement (mostly because they're heavily armed), they know how to bring the party. When an officer of the law gets arrested, it's always something that's just completely unexpected from them...

Richland County deputies say Paige was found completely naked in a parking lot on Longcreek Drive around 11 p.m. People say he could be seen from the roadway, and was also seen in the parking lot of an apartment complex, with no clothes on his body.

Deputies say Paige was intoxicated at the time of the incident.

18 years of work shot to hell, just like that. I guess if you are going to blow up your career as The Man, this is better than doing things like drug trafficking or making people pee in ditches.

Fat lady hasn't sung for fired opera critic Maybe with a name like Robert Thicknesse, the ex-opera critic for The Times of London has married the sort of mezzo-soprano who could fill in for the Raiders at defensive tackle. The way the Raiders are playing, that could be anybody.

Robert was contracted annually to sit through performances where people shout and sing the plot at the audience and each other. When The Times brought in a new arts editor last year, Robert's fat lady sang like a canary (figuratively, I have no idea who he has or hasn't married), and he was fired.

Or was he?...

The Times argued that it was allowed to dismiss Thicknesse on short notice because he was not an employee. However, tribunal chairman Colin Grazin ruled that certain provisions of The Times's contract were a "sham" and granted Thicknesse employee status. The Guardian report cites as an example of a "sham" provision a clause permitting the writer to use, at his own expense, third parties (such as researchers) in preparing his work; the ruling pointed out that The Times would not have tolerated Thicknesse actually using such third parties in writing his reviews.

Robert says he was an employee, so he should get the bennies that employees get. The Times says he's a freelancer and only gets what's in the contract. I say they should both be forced to listen to Weezer CD's until they agree to settle the suit.

A's fire Oakland, and 49ers may fire SF Billy Beane and the rest of the Moneyball A's plan to move to Fremont in 2011. They will camp out in a new ballpark to be called Cisco Field, which will be the most technologically advanced stadium in the majors.

How they can turn away from the charm of Oakland Coliseum, home of the Greatness of the Raiders, I can't imagine. Just Wince Baby.

The A's, who share the Oakland Coliseum with the NFL's Oakland Raiders, have been searching for a suitable location and funding for a new stadium for several years. Last March, Wolff confirmed the A's interest in exploring a move to Fremont, about 25 miles south of Oakland on the east side of San Francisco Bay.

That's not a move, that's a prison break. And the A's aren't the only ones looking for greener fields. 49ers owner John York played the sports media and said it was time to give up on Candlestick and stick it to San Francisco.

John has his eyes on Santa Clara and its well-heeled citizens. Like Fremont, plenty of smiling faces fronting dot-com bubble 2.0 cash-laden wallets appeal to the team owner. Visions of cash-plum merchandise sales dance in their heads.

SF Mayor Gavin Newsom probably spewed Perrier across the desk when he heard about the Niners saying hasta la vista baby on the way to the South Bay area. The Chronicle sniffed at the thought of people paying to finance a football stadium when they wouldn't do it for baseball...

If York thinks South Bay voters are sports-craved pushovers, he might want to ask ex-Giants owner Bob Lurie about the utility tax for a ballpark that was rejected 1992 when wickedly clever political strategist Jack Davis sent out 10,000 light-switch covers with Lurie's face on them. "Flip off Lurie," the cover implored San Jose voters. They did.

There's a difference. Football is more popular than baseball. The Cardinals won the World Series, and about four hours later got pushed off ESPN for good when news of Red Auerbach's death hit the Intarweb. Baseball has become something to do until September rolls around and the NFL starts its season.

I think SF gets fired by the Niners and they may have to talk Gavin off the Golden Gate when that happens.

University prez ruined $20 million donation, countdown to firing begins Fresh off Florida International University's appearance on SportsCenter for starting a brawl with Miami, I found that the school hasn't lost its edge when it comes to major stupidity.

Here's the Spark Notes version – rich guy agrees to give $20 million to FIU. President of FIU disses rich guy, who wants to give the payout in a series of payments instead of a lump sum. Rich guy reacts...

Herbert Wertheim took back the gift offer after the call last week and resigned from Florida International University's board of trustees.

"The conversation just wasn't what it should have been. There were things said that shouldn't have been said, and Humpty Dumpty is broken," Wertheim said.

In the phone call, he said, university President Modesto "Mitch" Maidique told him he had gotten the naming rights "on the cheap" and that the university "could now get $100 million for it."

Maidique responded in a letter Thursday, apologizing and leaving the door open for further negotiations, but saying that receiving the $20 million in a lump sum had been "pivotal" in the naming-rights agreement because it ensured the state would match the gift.

Mitch makes my short list for needing to finetune his CV and send his interview suit to the dry cleaners really really soon. Unless he can pull off the $100 million boast. I'm thinking...no.

Valleywag's Wagger fired The king of Silicon Valley snark has been dethroned. Nick Douglas, who was lured away from Blogebrity to be Gawker Media's Valleywag writer, has apparently been fired from his post not even a year into the job, sez Gawker kingpin Nick Denton...

Nick Douglas, the kid we plucked from college to launch Valleywag, will be a great journalist. And we will look stupid for letting him go. (To reach Nick Douglas, send email to popsnap at gmail dot com.) But, to helm the site, we're now looking for someone with, ideally, some background in reporting.

For a gossip site? For *the* Silicon Valley gossip site? Who's going to replace Nick Douglas, Anderson Cooper?

At the moment, it will be Kingpin Denton. He's brought along a Valleywag makeover that looks like the local Halloween supply outlet puked on graph paper. He's fallen in love with Courier New for the typeface. That's not the worst part either.

Kingpin is boring.

Here's a selection of his posts from the Wall Street Journal new dawn at Valleywag...

Blogger Appeasement Group Definition: the unit of an internet corporation, pursuing projects designed to generate, not revenue, nor even traffic, but blogger goodwill.

So Yahoo stock is off its low of 22.65, trading last I looked at 27.40. So Terry Semel, Yahoo's CEO, can breathe easy, right? Wrong. I'm hearing that much of the buying is from hedge funds, big and fickle investors who are expecting action of some sort. If they don't get it willingly, they'll start pushing.

O'Reilly Media, the publishing company behind the buzzy Web 2.0 conference, is raising money for a new round of tech investments.

Dear Daredevil and Elektra, the Kingpin has taken over our favorite blog and stuffed it with graphs. Please come kick the Kingpin's ass. Affectionately, the Intarwebs.

Technorati Tags: Fired, Nick Douglas, Valleywag

Blue Jackets ice their coach There might be 20,000 people, tops, who will care that Gerard Gallant has been ignominiously sent off for good by the owner of the NHL's Columbus franchise.

Even as bad as Philadelphia sucks in the standings, and they fired their coach and pushed out their GM last month, the Blue Jackets are almost as bad...

Gallant was not answering his cell phone late yesterday afternoon.

The Blue Jackets (5-9-1, 11 points) have fewer points than any other team in the league except for Phoenix (eight) and Philadelphia (eight). Another poor start has drawn consternation from fans and impacted attendance.

It must suck to be Gary Bettman, NHL commish, and see the other major sports leagues filling the stands and generating mad bank. I could probably swap an autographed Kobe jersey for season tickets with the LA Kings and have enough left over for beer.

Technorati Tags: Fired, NHL, Gerard Gallant

Rum and driving special needs kids does not mix There's a comedy bit by Ron White that goes "you can't fix stupid." I disagree. You can fix stupid by sterilizing her so she doesn't get knocked up and crank out some other podlings.

I know what you're thinking. Who deserves to have her tubes tied into a Gordian Knot? Let me present Cynthia Lea...

Police allege that Ms. Lea was intoxicated, with a blood alcohol level three times the state limit, and that she had an open bottle of rum in the Jeep Cherokee in which she was driving a special needs child home from school on Friday. The vehicle is a school transportation vehicle with a child transportation sign on the roof and red flashing lights, according to police.

Ms. Lea was driving at the time for Village Transportation Co. of Sterling, which provides transportation for about 210 special needs children in the Wachusett district, Superintendent Thomas G. Pandiscio said, contacted after the court proceeding yesterday.

I understand that kids can be pretty demanding. But drinking and driving is not the answer. She should be out shopping for useless crap that makes her feel better instead. Or eating a couple of quarts of ice cream while watch Springer and sobbing into her cardigan.

I would suggest her getting some real help, but that would imply she be held responsible for her actions, and people tend to freak out about that. "OH NOES!!010100 She's a victim of society!" Whatever.

Technorati Tags: Fired, Bus driver, alcoholic, way too scary

American Pie 5-0 - The special Cops version A lot of places are using the same headline – Inmate Allegedly Urged To Strip For Pie. They left out "Up in Michigan where it's really freaking cold."

Two Lenawee County Jail officers have been fired after authorities say they urged an inmate to strip and run naked around his cellblock in exchange for a piece of cherry pie. "We took decisive action," Sheriff Larry Richardson told The Daily Telegram.

Did the offending officers accept their just desserts? Ha ha ha...

Union officials have challenged the firings, saying the punishment was too severe. Union local president Deputy Michael Osborne said it's not normal procedure to fire such employees after a single incident.

The inmate saw the officers stuffing their faces and asked for some food. You know how it is, one thing leads to another, and pretty soon the inmate was streaking around the jail for some cherry pie.

That could happen anywhere. I'd ask about that the next time I apply for a job, if I were you. Make it a condition of employment. But hold out for lemon meringue instead.

Technorati Tags: Fired, Pie, Jail, Bad boys whatcha gonna do

AD fouls out of job This story had so much potential. College athletic director fired! Took money from a pro team! He used to coach his school and won two national championships! SCANDAL! Who could it be?

The Fred-O-Meter was rocking harder than Ryan Phillippe's trailer while Reese was away from the set. This had to be good.

It wasn't...

A fired community college athletic director is accused of accepting $800 from a professional basketball team for arranging to hold tryouts at the school, according to personnel records obtained by The (Toledo) Blade.

It was one of several poor decisions by Jim Welling, the former athletic director at Owens Community College, cited in a Nov. 10 evaluation, the newspaper reported Wednesday. Other problems ranged from failing to monitor the eligibility of players to financial indiscretions.

That pro team who doled out the mad Benjamins to the AD? The Toledo Ice of the ABA, and their official website reads "Website coming soon!"

I'd line up for that, if I wasn't going to be busy buying a new plunger. Word of advice, even if you can afford the 3x3 In-N-Out Burger with extra everything, animal-style fries, and a Neapolitan shake at midnight, you probably shouldn't indulge. Your plumbing will thank you.

Technorati Tags: Fired, Athletic Director, Hoop Dreams

Fred hits 100! Let's talk pigskin W00t! Go me! This is my 100th post on Simply Fired. Let's celebrate with some National (da da da daaa) Football League firing speculation.

There are five AFC teams at 3-6, and two at 2-7. So who's getting fired in the AFC? How about a 7-2 coach, goes by Marty S and works in San Diego?

If the Bolts miss the playoffs or get booted in their first game, there's no way Martyball comes back for a 2007 appearance. As for the putrid Raiders, who's going to take over for Art Shell if he decides he'd rather bail than come back? Could Al Davis really fire Art?

Yeah. Could happen. Don't see it. Marty, he's a lock to be gone unless they win it all, I think.

How about that NFC? The Arizona Cardinals are 1-8. Denny Green fired his offensive coordinator, again. His team has found ways to lose games they should have won. Matt Leinart will be calling someone else Coach in 2007. Stone cold lock.

Chuckie Gruden in Tampa Bay may as well call the realtors now and put his house up for sale. Bruce Gradkowski is no Ben Roethlisberger. Chris Simms is a bust, and that has to gut his dad Phil, but Chris never won a big game in college and had very few good performances in the pros.

I don't think Chuckie wants to be the guy to come back and put Chris on the bench, assuming he comes back from losing his freaking spleen. Chuckie will bail and leave that steaming pile of a task to someone else.

So that's Marty and Denny to be fired, Chuckie and Art won't surprise me if they quit. If we can just hope for Jake Plummer to get Denver to the playoffs and completely self-destruct and take Mike Shanahan along with him, that would make a perfect post-season for me.

Technorati Tags: Fired, NFL, Coaches, Are you ready for some football

Honor my fired guy or lose a million dollars It's not often enough that someone in a position of power takes up for someone who has been fired. Usually those who do the firing are of the same social strata, like decomposing dinosaurs, of other wealthy people.

Then someone like Jim McIngvale comes along and I'm practically crying into my cheap beer...

A big-time booster's unusual ultimatum has placed the University of North Texas in an awkward position.

It's renaming the Denton school's new athletic facility after the football coach it just fired. To keep the peace, and perhaps keep open the big-money pipeline, school officials say they'll honor the demand of Houston furniture magnate Jim McIngvale.

UNT fired coach Darrell Dickey for committing what would probably be a sin against an 11th Commandment, were they written in Texas: thou shalt not lose a bunch of football games.

In true classy fashion, the school canned Darrell shortly after he'd experienced a heart attack. They probably expected a $560,000 buyout to end their troubles and let them move on with Jim's new money from under one of the mattresses he sells.

But no, they'll have to give in to the bed bigwig's demands and name their football practice facility for their now-fired coach. Otherwise he's going to give the money to the music school. That's a tune the football backers and alums don't want to hear.

I think it's pretty funny that no one at UNT has the brass to tell Jim to take the money and go play with the band if he feels that strongly about it. Still think college football is all about the student-athletes? Puh-leeze.

Technorati Tags: Fired, Coach, Lost his job but gained a building

Forecast calls for nudity followed by a streak of firing There was no silver lining for a TV weatherman in Virginia whose nude picture began circulating through the old Internet tubes. Jamey Singleton violated the morals clause of his employment contract at WSLS NewsChannel 10 in Roanoke after a former friend (I'm guessing there's an upgrade to "blood enemy" here) posted a nudie pic of Jamey on, you guessed it, MySpace...

A heroin addiction, a federal drug case and a frenzy of negative publicity were not enough to pull popular WSLS (Channel 10) meteorologist Jamey Singleton from the air.

"What's decent, what's indecent, what shocks and what offends -- that's really up to them," Singleton said at his apartment Thursday evening. "I can't blame them if ... after everything that's happened they said, 'That's the straw that broke the camel's back.' "

That's a pretty generous employer, though. Shooting up? No problem. Men in black suits hauling you away for questioning? Who cares? Bring negative PR on the station? Meh, we can deal with that.

Show up on MySpace with your thingie on display? OMFG think of the children OH NOES!!!

Technorati Tags: Fired, Weatherman, Nudity, MySpace

U R teh fired oh noes me=busted If yesterday's tale of someone taking up for a fired coach didn't have you reaching for the Kleenex, this one has got to reach your heart.

Some tedious publisher called Source Media fired Stevan Hoffacker back in 2003 from his computer job. But while they shoved him out the front door, no one in the IT department bothered to close up a back door in the old mail server.

Where our hero Stevan kept tabs on emails going from exec to exec discussing who was going to be fired next. And duly alerted former co-workers that the scythe was about to swing in their direction...

Hoffacker intercepted numerous e-mails from the company's human resources director and other high-level executives discussing the fate of several employees, prosecutors say.

One employee got an e-mail from the Yahoo! account "capnjackny" in August, telling her that she was about to be fired, according to a criminal complaint filed in Manhattan Federal Court by FBI Special Agent Stephen Gallo.

In September, another employee got a message from the same account, alerting him that he, too, would be fired. He told his bosses about it.

Stevan may be doing five years of hard time for his hacking. Hopefully the employee who spilled the beans got fired just for being so patently stupid. "We had changed our minds, but you don't seem to have the necessary discretion your position requires. No job for you, mouthy."

Technorati Tags: Fired, Hacking, U R teh fired oh noes

Talk about a real prick A substitute teacher in Redwood City, CA, didn't just get sent to the principal's office for a science experiment that went really wrong. He got himself totally and completely fired for this sequence of events...

•  Run a middle school science class for the day
•  Have the students learn about blood
•  Let the kids share needles as they prick their skin for blood droplets

Anyone spot the scary part here?

In the words, and definitely the voice, of legendary comedian Sam Kinison, ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!? I DON'T FREAKING BELIEVE THIS! AHHHH AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

The school had the same reaction when they found out about it...

"I'm shocked that in this day and age that anyone would think that this (sharing needles) is appropriate protocol," Christensen said. "I'm very upset about this. Children's safety is our number one concern."The district has notified the San Mateo County Health Department and the students will be checked for Hepatitis B or C and HIV on Tuesday, Christensen said. They have also advised parents to consult with the their pediatrician.

Don't worry, someone will come to the subby's defense and fight his painfully earned dismissal.

Chat's a drug, fired guy said Where is the love these days? Where is the corporate nurturing? While everyone else has been getting a vigorous lesson in the cold, harsh reality of being treated like a disposable employee these days, a fired IBM nerd thinks the age of compassionate corporate care for drug and alcohol abusers should extend to people hooked on the Net.

I need to tape my ribs now, I think I broke one from laughing too hard. Here's why...

In his legal action against IBM, James Pacenza admits that he spent time in chat rooms during work hours, but claims his behavior is the result of an addiction and that IBM should have offered him counseling instead of firing him. Employees "with much more severe psychological problems, in the form of drug or alcohol problems ... are allowed treatment programs" at IBM, Pacenza argues in his lawsuit.

That's the serve, here's the return from IBM...

IBM says Pacenza was not fired specifically for using a chat room, but because "he logged on a Web site that contained sexual content on an IBM-owned computer during the workday." IBM says the instant messages that Pacenza sent and received on the site's chat room included references to a sex act. IBM also contends that it has treatment programs for employees "with illnesses," but had no knowledge of Pacenza having a specific condition. The company says Pacenza was "dismissed for legitimate business reasons."

I hope he does find treatment for his addiction. If he has a choice he'll probably ask for a topical medication as a treatment option while he gets his issue in hand.

Technorati Tags: Fired, IBM, Chat, Internet Addiction, Sex

Cop fired for being too Taser-happy Fired: Cop.

Why: Tasering unruly drunk woman.

Uh-oh: Woman was in cuffs and being held in a booking room at the time.

SimplyFired: The booking room had a camera catching all of the action...

Ka-zap went an Ohio cop's career, thanks to his overzealousness at correcting an unruly detainee's behavior...

Officer Edward Long shocked an allegedly intoxicated 32-year-old Kristina Fretter after Long said she was being unruly.

Fretter was taken to the hospital. She was treated and released.

Officials said this was not the first time Long had been involved in an incident. He already served one suspension, was facing another, and has been involved in three accidents with his police car.

Officer Eddie had been with the force for two years. Imagine the body count this guy could have rolled up over a decade. Yikes!

Technorati Tags: Fired, Cop, Taser, Bad boys whatcha gonna do

Whopper no mayo, with firings, I mean onion rings! "Two number one combos, no ice for the drinks, we've got plenty back at work."

A pair of Boise ice rink employees thought it would be a great idea to take their $75,000 Zambonis with $10,000 ice scraping blades on a late night trip to the local Burger King to soothe their case of the munchies.

Unfortunately for them, someone spotted their low-speed food run and called their bosses...

The Zamboni operators, both temporary city employees whose names and ages were not released by officials, had to drive through at least one intersection with a traffic light on their late-night creep from Idaho Ice World.

"They were fired immediately," said Parks Department director Jim Hall. "We're pretty sure it was just the one time. When we interviewed them, they didn't seem to be too concerned about it. I don't think they understood the seriousness of it."

I can't make fun of the zany Zamboni riders properly because their names and ages haven't been released. But the blogger who scored this story first at Boise Guardian had a commenter recommend the driving duo as Official Ambassadors of Free Spirit for the city.

Technorati Tags: Fired, Zamboni, Burger King, Now that's a tasty burger

Emory University fires Nerds Fox Atomic thought they had the perfect location locked up for their remake (excuse me, they call it "reimagining" now) of the ancient (circa 1984) comedy film "Revenge of the Nerds." But Emory Universi