Baker brushed off at Wrigley Many know the woeful Chicago Cubs as lovable losers, but there was no more love for Dusty Baker from the Cubbie powers-that-be. Dusty's been dusted off by the organization, said the Sun-Times.

Yeah, it's Dusty's fault the moronic management forced him to depend on Mark Prior and Kerry Wood in the rotation again, and to have to plug those holes when the two once again picked up a whole bunch of injuries.

It's his fault that Derrek Lee's broken wrist sidelined him for much of the season, and that "genius in his own mind" GM Jim Hendry shipped Greg Maddux to the Dodgers. Yup blame Dusty for that and whatever else happened this year in Wrigley Field.

The National League has been wielding the long knives in a few places for over a week. Joe Girardi won't be the Marlins manager because he doesn't get along with his bosses. He'll probably take home a Manager of the Year trophy when he cleans out his office after one year in sunny Florida. Because, hey, the front office gave him a whole $15 million payroll to work with, they're so generous.

It's the typical boss and employee relationship. Point out that the boss is a moron who couldn't find "wet" in the middle of the Pacific doesn't work. That makes his boss look bad, having to admit to making that mistake. Out the employee goes.

Frank Robinson won't be back in DC with the Nationals. His team couldn't pitch, had problems fielding, and only a couple of decent hitters in the lineup. Obviously all Robinson's fault here too.

(Almost forgot about Felipe. No longer having to deal with the Barry Bonds circus can't be a bad thing.)

NFL coaches who will learn new definition for "sack" Ya know, when I started to think something bad was going to happen to Chris Simms in Tampa Bay, I thought it would be Chuckie Gruden ripping out his errant quarterback's spleen, not another team doing the dirty work for him.

Chuckie is my front runner for coach to do a Fred and get fired this year. Art Shell is a very close second especially after Cleveland came in to their house and won with a fourth quarter comeback.

As much as everyone loves Jeff Fisher on Music Row, 0-4 may start to make some people grumble. The Titans really botched their handling of Steve McNair in the off-season; McNair's undefeated in Baltimore now. The Titans are starting Vince Young, and he is not ready for prime time yet.

So what about winless Detroit and the Ugliest Defense on Turf? Mike Martz's old team ran through his new team like they were I-75 South out of the Motor City. Their alleged defense has surrendered 115 points in four games. "Fred," I can hear you thinking, "Shouldn't Mad Mike be on your list?"

He would be except for one thing. They're starting to show they can score points. Fans don't like to see their team lose, but if the Lions are playing "last possession wins" with the league and putting up 30-40 per game, you can watch that.

I don't know if you can fire Green Bay's coach this year. They just fired Mike Sherman last year, but the Cheeseheads in power have shown they don't mind sacking a coach after one year (Ray Rhodes anyone?) Watch the Pack, because Number 4 will either toss four scores or four picks in any game this year.

Did she forget to wash her hands? Iowa. Such a quiet, sleepy state. It's the Labrador retriever of States, until it spins around and bites you right on the reality bits.

The University of Iowa must still be spinning after The Ohio State University did all kinds of nasty squiggly things to their football team on Saturday night. Why else would they fire the director of the University Hygenic Laboratory?

Mary Gilchrist, director of University Hygienic Laboratory for 11 years, was fired from her job today. Gilchrist said University of Iowa officials fired her for speaking out about issues important to the health of Iowans, including the university's plan that would undersize the new laboratory, which serves as the state's public health lab.

Isn't this one of those institutes of higher education that aspire to greater heights of human achievement? That challenges people to be more than what they are today? That fire newly hired third-shift campus housekeeping staff for accidentally kicking out a refrigerator plug in one of the dining halls, leading to 400 students suffering from food poisoning, and a sudden shortage of TP throughout the campus?

Ok, so I may have had something to do with the third one there. You'd think no one had ever had to spend an afternoon within waddling distance of a restroom before.

See, free speech and freedom of expression apply to lots of things. But not the leadership decisions of a deep-pocketed, well-connected, food poisoning-free university. Someone probably earned tickets on the 50 yard line for sending Gilchrist off. Let's hope no one gets sick over this.

Technorati Tags: Fired, Hygenic, next thing you know they will say spinach is bad for you

Job security – there are some things money just can't buy Police chief David Mangum picked up a pink slip from the city of Kenly, N.C. (population 1,962) for treating himself to a few things with a city MasterCard.

The latest statement contained a $648 charge for a cruise. Very much something money can buy. He also treated himself to shopping sprees and weekend trips to the Outer Banks.

Sweet gig if you can get it, living off the local property tax dollar$.

Technorati Tags: Fired, Police Chief, We got him surrounded now boys

Texas fears Greek nudes and fires a teacher Look what the New York Times found. They picked up the story of Sydney McKee, art teacher, art lover, and fired educator.

She took her 5th graders on an approved trip of the Dallas Museum of Art. No it's not just Remington prints and silver inlaid belt buckles, even though those would be really cool. They have other artwork there. Some of it, gulp, nude artwork...

Retracing her route this week through the museum’s European and contemporary galleries, Ms. McGee passed the marble torso of a Greek youth from a funerary relief, circa 330 B.C.; its label reads, “his nude body has the radiant purity of an athlete in his prime.� She passed sculptor Auguste Rodin’s tormented “Shade;� Aristide Maillol’s “Flora,� with her clingy sheer garment; and Jean Arp’s “Star in a Dream.�

None, Ms. McGee said, seemed offensive.

But someone's little fifth-grader complained. Supposedly. So the school district fired her over, get this, her footwear. They called 'em flip-flops, Sydney called 'em Via Spigas, and Via Spiga called 'em sandals. Inappropriate footwear, said the district.

If you were wondering about the difference between flip-flops and Via Spiga, the answer is "about $200." And people say guys are dumb for buying Kobe's shoes for that price?

Technorati Tags: Fired, Art, Sydney McGee

Gimme a F! Gimme an I! C'mon, I can't hear you... The place – Frederick, MD. The scene – a youth football game. The crime...

Two volunteer cheerleader coaches have been dismissed after one of them repeatedly lifted her shirt during a youth football game to show her 7- and 8-year-old girl students a smiley face drawn on her belly.

Christine Smith, former assistant coach with the Frederick Youth Sports Association, told The Frederick News-Post that she and former head coach Debbie Wheaton had drawn the image on Smith's abdomen to cheer up their students.

"Every time the girls weren't smiling, I showed them the smiley face. They thought it was hilarious," Smith said.

OMG. The children, think of the children! Three people complained that these immoral floozies showed maybe three inches of belly to the kiddies. Both of these heinous tarts were summarily fired, because classy town that Frederick is, something had to be done.

I'm ashamed to have the same name as the city. I wonder what would have happened to the volunteer as-in-unpaid cheerleader coaches if they'd painted "Almost there" with an arrow pointing down instead of the smiley face on Smith's tummy. Probably a trip to Gitmo and some time in the waterboarding room.

Technorati Tags: Fired, Cheerleaders, Gimme a pink slip

Showalter bucked from the Rangers I was wondering when the American League would get around to dumping some of its managers. Fortunately the woeful Texas Rangers broke a string of four National League firings with one of their own, by showing Buck Showalter the door after four years without going to the post-season to accept a beating from the New York Yankees...

"You never heard me make an excuse all year, and I'm not going to start now. We just didn't get it done," Showalter told The Associated Press in a phone interview. "They want to go in a new direction with a new voice. With the shelf life of managers, I feel fortunate."

The Senior Circuit has dismissed Dusty Baker, Felipe Alou, Frank Robinson, and Joe Girardi, who barely had time to clean out his office before the Marlins named his replacement.

It's a hired to be fired job, but the paychecks have 6 or 7 figures before the decimal point, so even a guy who's too stupid to pull his tired star pitcher for a reliever in a playoff game probably has enough banked away to keep the Budget Gourmet out of his freezer until the next job comes along.

Technorati Tags: Fired, Baseball, Managers, Hired to be fired

Shooting and teaching and kissing, no firing yet "It started with a little kiss, like this."

Short version – a teacher in Brooklyn will probably get fired (even if it is nearly impossible to fire a New York teacher) for encouraging a girl and a boy to kiss, which led to solving a shooting.

The long version – is pretty weird too. Here's how it started...

Lisa Schmude, 30, a social studies teacher at Intermediate School 259, allegedly set up a boy and girl and encouraged them to smooch in her classroom, according to a report by special schools investigator Richard Condon.

The 14-year-old boy later bragged to the girl about shooting another kid two years earlier - and the female student feared the victim was her own brother.

Acting on her hunch, the girl showed her brother a photo of the boy she kissed and her brother identified him as the shooter, authorities said.

When the girl asked Schmude how to handle the situation, the teacher allegedly said, "Whatever you do, leave me out of it."

It's always good to have a teacher to turn to when you're a kid in crisis, isn't it?

Technorati Tags: Teacher, Kissing, Shooting, Someone should be fired here

LA Times publisher fired for not firing people Jeff Johnson told The Tribune Company to go to hell when the publisher told him last month to make cuts at the Los Angeles Times. I'm not sure if he said "go to hell" but it's a lot more fun to think that he did.

He said no, and that earned him the disfavor of one of the big three newspaper companies. Buh-bye, they said. The paper's editor, Dean Baquet, had also resisted the cuts, but he must have resisted the thought of losing his job even more, as he's decided to stick around while keeping his options open...

Times editor Dean Baquet told an editors meeting at 11:30 that he can work with new publisher David Hiller. Baquet had coffee with Hiller this morning and apparently was told to make his strongest case for the Times fending off deep newsroom cuts.

The new publisher isn't a newsman by trade. LAObserved said Hiller is a Harvard lawyer who worked in the Reagan Administration alongside Ken Starr and Rudy Giuliani. Hiller's idea of a compelling front page story was an entertainment piece about chefs feuding over foie gras in Chicago.

If you listen real close, you can hear the concept of journalism over puffery nip off to a corner of the LA Times newsroom and shoot itself.

Technorati Tags: Fired, LA Times, Jeff Johnson, Who needs journalism anyway

Fired art teacher learning the art of being smeared The inevitable whispers about Sydney McGee, Texas art teacher fired for (she claimed) taking her class to the Dallas Museum of Art where the 5th graders saw (gasp) nude artwork have begun.

They're spelling her name as McGee instead of McKee, and since I don't care enough to dig out the right one, I'm just going to call her Sydney like I have been.

Anyway, those whispers, right. She lost another teaching job too:

One parent told a school official her child was, “…suicidal prior to leaving that class. He was extremely frightened of her.�

McKinney ISD paid McGee $8,300 to leave her job as a second grade teacher, at Glen Oaks Elementary. They also offered to give her a positive recommendation.

Her current school, Frisco ISD, also offered to give her a letter of recommendation too. This despite all kinds of complaints in her private personnel file, the same one being bounced around the Texas media now.

So is she an unfireable lemon of a teacher like our friend from Brooklyn, or is she a persecuted artist instead? Here's more "evidence" of Sydney's failings as a teacher...

“Children just weren’t excited to go to art,� says parent Lisa Zeigler. “When I heard my daughter say that I kind of crumbled inside, because this is somebody she was looking up to for guidance and direction, and she never got that. She had to get it from the substitute teacher.�

Yeah, her daughter had to go to the substitute teacher for guidance and direction...which says a lot for Mommy's status in her little girl's eyes too. (*cough*Joan Crawford was from Texas too*cough*)

Technorati Tags: Fired, Nude, Art, Sydney, Mommie Dearest

New York Yankees fire manager! No, not Joe Torre. They fired their Double-A manager, Bill Masse. Yankees GM Brian Cashman said Bill put winning ahead of development...

And Masse said until hearing it as the reason he was boxed, he never heard it this summer when he led the Thunder back from a 1-13 start to win the Northern Division of the Eastern League. Nor was it mentioned to him that he was mishandling pitching prospect Phil Hughes.

"It never came up during the season because it never happened. I didn't know what to say to Cash because it's all a lie," Masse said.

Ruining pitchers is a fine Yankee management tradition, going back to Billy Martin at least. Before that, pitchers like Babe Ruth (fine, ex-pitcher then) and Whitey Ford had to run themselves out of peak condition by hitting the bars. Those guys could come back and perform, unlike the coddled junkball throwers of today.

Old baseball guys knew the drill. Don't drink today if you aren't ready to pay for it tomorrow.

Technorati Tags: Fired, Baseball, The pride of the Yankees

Maybe the Yankees will fire their manager No minor league Double A guy this time. George Steinbrenner wants Joe Torre fired, the tabloids say.

To help things along, one of his players is helping things along by sticking a knife in old Joe's back. Here's what Gary "I unsuspectingly used a steroid cream" Sheffield did to his manager...

Gary Sheffield told USA Today that Joe Torre's decision to bat Alex Rodriguez eighth in Game 4 ended up dooming the Yankees.
"We were worrying about all of that stuff, and we still had a game to play. If I'm on the other side, and all of a sudden they're putting Rodriguez eighth and putting me or Jason on the bench, you wonder what's going on. Those guys [the Tigers] were asking me about it. I think it boosted their morale. It gave them confidence they didn't have," Sheffield told the newspaper.

Gary didn't bother mentioning how he "supported" Joe Torre in the series against the Tigers - .083 batting average, one hit, one RBI, four strikeouts and an error. I wonder if Sheffield needed someone to give him the Heimlich before he could toss Joe under the bus.

Technorati Tags: Fired, Joe Torre, Gary Sheffield, choke artist

Reporter fired for writing Weird, isn't it?

Joe Maguire, a Reuters editor in charge of markets coverage, chose to write a book about Ann Coulter, lampooning her book "Godless" by titling his "Brainless: The Lies and Lunacy of Ann Coulter."

The "conditional approval" he received from the news organization did not survive a review of the galleys of the book, said a number of blogs that were all pointing to the New York Times about it.

It's not a good day to be a Joe. Another notable New York Joe, name of Torre, maybe you've seen his World Series rings, is being pushed towards the door. Reuters Joe was done in by The Trust Principles of Reuters...

When asked what changed once the book was ready, a company statement pointed to Reuters’ principles of “integrity, independence and freedom from bias.� The statement reads: “Our editorial policy and The Reuters Trust Principles are prominently displayed for all to see on www.about.reuters.com. Mr. Maguire’s book will soon be available. Both speak for themselves.�

A Reuters employee who insisted on anonymity out of concern at angering management said that the 20 or so employees at the markets desk where Mr. Maguire had been one of two editors in charge “took a group coffee break� in solidarity on Thursday.

On Friday, the employee said, there was a meeting with Reuters management informing the workers there that Mr. Maguire would no longer be working there and that they “weren’t allowed to ask why.� Printed copies of the principles of trust were handed out, however.

So Reuters Joe writes an anti-Ann book, and now he gets to bank on the publicity over his firing as well as being picked up by tons of blogs sympathetic to his book's viewpoint, all urging people to go buy a copy. I'd say Reuters Joe didn't want to be fired almost as much as politicians don't want campaign donations.

Go ahead and take those group coffee breaks, oh Reuteurians. Reuters Joe is laughing all the way to the bank.

Technorati Tags: Fired, Joe Maguire, Ann Coulter, self-inflicted firing

Restaurant ownership deal becomes a firing (for real!) Strange names and broken promises abound in this tale of a chicken restaurant turned fine country dining establishment. John Litwicki took the job as executive chef for a cut in pay because Steve Duelbelbeis promised him a piece of the action.

It didn't quite work out between the two...

But on July 5, Litwicki claims he was fired because Duelbelbeis said he could hire somebody else to do the same work for a lesser salary.

Litwicki's first year salary was $52,000, plus a $1,000 starting bonus, according to the suit.

"That when the plaintiff reminded the defendant about their arrangement and agreement, including the written agreement dated April 25, 2006, signed by both parties, the defendant told the plaintiff, 'you can take that piece of paper and shove it up your (expletive)," the complaint states.

In considering the potential for penetrating an orifice with typical 20# letter-sized paper, and a likelihood of painful paper cuts, Litwicki declined to do so and sued. Ok, maybe the breach of contract had something to do with the lawsuit.

Technorati Tags: Fired, Chef, let the lawsuits begin

The Yankees don't plan to fire their manager, honest! George Steinbrenner of the 21st century is a shadow of his 70's and 80's self. The Old Boss would have thrown Joe Torre and Alex Rodriguez down an elevator shaft after the Yankees got out-managed by Jim Leyland and out-pitched by castoff Kenny Rogers.

The New Boss might be seeing a future where treating Dick Howser like a punk after the 1980 season could earn earn him a spiffy red suit and matching case of eternal hotfoot. Firing Joe is not going to happen, as George has had a change of heart...

“He gave me his support,� Torre said at a news conference at Yankee Stadium. “I’m just pleased I’m able to stay on and do this.�

He also said that he expected third baseman Alex Rodriguez to return next season. “Alex is one of the important pieces of this puzzle here,� Torre said.

Alex also has a no-trade clause, so he's not going to be shipped off to Kansas City, either.

If you live someplace where "winning baseball" is an oxymoron, write to Keith Olbermann and ask him about the 1980 Yankees, it's not like he's coming up with a new anti-W rant every night on Countdown.

I promise no more baseball firing news until someone actually does get the axe.

Technorati Tags: Fired, Joe Torre, Damn Yankees, ok so he is not fired

I dream about pasty white executives getting fired (part one) I finally fell asleep last night after several bouts of being awakened by Mother Nature regarding my digestive tract and fish tacos, and I had the weirdest dream.

There I was, floating through Fry's Electronics and cheerfully Tasering unhelpful salespeople, when I drifted in front of a big computer screen. I saw a couple of guys standing in front of a McAfee logo. Then there was a noise like a trap door opening and one guy dropped off the screen.

Then this really big hand came out and pushed the other guy offstage while he was saying something about quitting to protect shareholder interests. Or maybe he said toilet paper, I'm not sure.

A bunch of people dressed like Mr. Moneybags from Monopoly were dancing with strands of DNA. Then I floated on...

Technorati Tags: Fired, McAfee, am I dreaming

The dream continues (part two) I stopped in front of a BIG red curtain, and there was a little dude dressed like a bellhop talking backwards. Then I heard David Lynch say "Fred, you're not in this scene. Go turn on the sprinklers. And remember, when they say 'stepped down' they really mean forced out at knifepoint."

When the curtain opened, I was back in Fry's in front of a bunch of TV's. There was a weird looking guy with a combover and a bulging forehead and he didn't know if his name was Bonnie Shelby or Shelby Bonnie.

"Why have I got two girls' names?" he was going. I asked the TV screens if he just got fired. "No, I'm stepping down and the chief of human resources and the top legal counsel are going with me."

Uh huh, I said knowingly. And I drifted on just as a CNET logo fell on the dude's head...

Technorati Tags: Fired, Shelby Bonnie, CNET, am I dreaming

Then the dream ends (part three) The wind caught me in my dream and carried me to another part of the store. There were phones all over the counter with their screens open and little videos playing on them.

Hey, I asked, who are you? There was a person who looked like a cross between John Constantine and Nick Douglas. Are you Guy Pearce?

"I don't remember," he said, then he shoved a Polaroid in my face. "Have you seen this guy?"

Yeah, I know that (&@#!%^* dude. He's the one who just jacked up the text message rates on Sprint phones. I'd like to see you get fired.

"He did," Guy said. "Tim Donahue is stepping down from Sprint Nextel at the end of the year."

Good.

"Check this out, the company made millions of dollars in deals with Tim's brother-in-law the same day the dude said he's leaving the company."

That's not illegal? I asked him, but then the Polaroid turned into Joey Pants and a lot of blood, and he said he couldn't remember what we were talking about.

And I woke up in the kitchen, surrounded by 14 cans of Chef Boyardee and an empty can of Jolt Cola. I have no idea what this means.

Technorati Tags: Fired, Tim Donahue, Sprint, am I dreaming

Storm fired from Supernova Not even impressing guitar impresario Dave Navarro could save Storm Large and nearly unpronounceable Icelandic rocker Magni Asgeirsson from the Rock Star Supernova tour. OregonLive sez finances were the reason for the final cut...

"They SAY it's financial," writes Storm, "but I know what REALLY went down ... I clearly haven't slept with enough people. I thought I got all of em' but a few were kinda squirrely and escaped my lusty grip. DANG IT !!"

Everyone knows the music industry is as slippery as a bucket of AstroGlide dumped on king-size plastic bedsheets, but this really takes nerve. Microsoft, the MSN in rockstar.msn.com, had cash going the show's way, and we all know how much cash they have (hint: much more than me, you, and the next thousand people to read this blog.)

So where did the money go? Classic 80's coke fests? A round of Escalades for Mark Burnett and all the co-producers and other hangers-on? Someone soaked up the cash, that's a given.

Technorati Tags: Fired, Storm Large, Rock Star Supernova, Dave Navarro

Fired Freston fete could turn into Redstone roast When you think of Tom Freston, you have to think of that MTV music intro, the one the Stone Temple Pilots copped for their song, "Plush." Dahnnnn duhnnn dahhhhhh. Or whatever. Viacom's aged patriarch fired Tom on Labor Day, and that deserves the Rich Irony Firing Award for the year, I think.

Radar was absolutely gleeful Tom decided to announce he would show up for the Center of Communication's annual awards luncheon in a couple of weeks...

Or maybe it just shows how popular he is compared to his old employer. With a host committee stocked with rival media titans—News Corp.'s Rupert Murdoch, Time Warner's Dick Parsons, Sony's Sir Howard Stringer and GE's Bob Wright, among them—the event has all the makings of a Redstone roast.

Judy McGrath and John Sykes, two of Freston's protégées, are also on the committee. And if there's any lingering awkwardness in the room, Stephen Colbert, the afternoon's featured speaker, is the man to exploit it. Unless, of course, he doesn't want to piss off his boss, Sumner Redstone.

I don't think there's any chance Colbert goes cold turkey when it comes to ribbing Redstone.

Technorati Tags: Fired, Tom Freston, Sumner Redstone, I want my MTV

Fired cops tried to buy a better salary "She didn't reckon with the awesome power of the Chief of Police! Now where did I put my badge?...Hey, that duck's got it!"

Ah Florida, land of sun, retirees, and cops buying degrees. Two law enforcement officers from Naples purchased what they thought was a quick trip to better pay...

The officers were fired in July after an internal investigation revealed they paid $600 to get a criminal justice degree from Almeda University based in Idaho, which sells degrees based on life experience.

The degrees aren't certified by the Florida Department of Law Enforcement and both officers admitted they never took a single class from Almeda.

"These men did absolutely nothing wrong. They pursued degrees because it was approved by the city," said attorney Mike Coviello.

If I "pursue" a degree by buying it from a diploma mill and start practicing law, I wonder if the bar association would be quite as forgiving as this attorney wants Naples to be for his clients. I think it's more likely I'd be bundled into a duffel bag, taken out to the Gulf of Mexico, and dropped overboard in deep water to look for sharks.

Technorati Tags: Fired, Cops, Almeda, bad boys bad boys

England manager fired by his PR coach Steve McLaren brought his England squad home from a 2-0 Euro 2008 qualifier loss to Croatia. Forget the expected criticism from the English footy public. Steve's public relations coach Max Clifford decided to dump his gig working for the national team manager...

PR guru Clifford believes he can no longer act for McClaren because he's been denied the close contact he enjoys with other high-profile clients that allows him to do his job properly.

Clifford said: "It's proving to be a waste of my time and his money. I can't operate properly for Steve if I don't know what he's thinking or doing all the time. I'm used to making an impact from central midfield and I can't do that from the substitutes bench.

Unless Max can take Steve back in time and maybe help him force a draw instead of a painful loss to the Croatian side, I don't think there's anything he can do for the England coach anyway. Can't blame Max for wanting out of the ground zero of criticism coming Steve's way.

Technorati Tags: Fired, Steve McLaren, sorry not yet

A baseball firing, and it's not a manager "The name's Francis Sawyer, but everybody calls me Psycho. Any of you guys call me Francis, and I'll kill you."

Actually the name's Steve Lyons, recently unemployed Fox sportscaster. He made a rambling unfunny comment partially in Spanish that was the last straw for Fox...

Piniella said that expecting similar production would be "like finding a wallet on a Friday night and looking for one on Sunday and Monday, too."

Four minutes later, they had moved to different subjects and Piniella said something in Spanish. "The bilingual Lou Piniella," Brennaman said.

Lyons said: "Lou's habla'ing some Español there, and I'm still looking for my wallet. I don't understand him and I don't want to sit close to him now." The three laughed and continued calling the game.

I'm not entirely sure what the problem is here – was he denigrating Hispanics, was he accusing Sweet Lou of being a pickpocket – but Fox was hacked off enough to fire him before the end of his contract.

Now I have to branch into the complete opposite of being fired since we're talking about Lou. He's going to manage the Cubs next year. Mark Prior and Kerry Wood have the fragility of balsa wood when it comes to their throwing arms, and Lou's managerial style grinds pitchers into a fine powder.

He's had five other manager jobs before, so I'm making him my early favorite to be fired next season, right around the All-Star break.

Technorati Tags: Fired, Steve Lyons, Psycho, Lou Pinella

Ex-Miami Hurricane player now ex-broadcaster too Lamar Thomas went a little too old school on-air during a brawl between his Hurricanes and Florida International in the third quarter of that game...

Thomas seemed to be cheering on the UM players who were fighting.

"Now, that's what I'm talking about," Thomas said during the broadcast while players brawled on the field at the Orange Bowl. "You come into our house, you should get your behind kicked." "You don't come into the OB playing that stuff. You're across the ocean over there. You're across the city," he said of UM's opponent, which is about 10 miles from the Coral Gables campus. "You can't come over to our place talking noise like that. You'll get your butt beat. I was about to go down the elevator to get in that thing." Thirty-one players have been suspended for their role in the fight.

After order was restored, Thomas said on air: "I say, why don't they just meet outside in the tunnel after the ball game and get it on some more?"

Thomas talked on the air to Dan Patrick and Keith Olbermann earlier today, just before calling his bosses at Comcast. He didn't expect to be fired. Dan and Keith listened patiently, and when the call was done, Dan asked Keith what he thought would happen to Lamar.

"He'll be fired," said Keith.

Deadspin cheerfully kicked in some of Lamar's past misdeeds, just to fuel the flames...

Thomas' rap sheet includes:

•  Arrested and jailed for aggravated battery for attacking his pregnant fiancee with a deadly weapon.

•  Arrested for violating probation.

•  Detained for brandishing a handgun and threatening suicide, prompting authorities to check him in to a mental institution.

•  Did jail time for again violating probation related to the battery charges, when he was arrested for choking his fiancée. His six-month old son was present at the scene.

Surely Al Davis has offered him a job in Oakland by now.

Technorati Tags: Fired, Lamar Thomas, Miami Hurricanes, Brawl

Ken Macha fired by Moneyball The A's manager heard the word from General Manager Billy Beane – take your ball and go home. Disconnected, that's how Moneybilly described working with Ken.

The Chronicle described Ken's knockout from the job as Moneybeane's decision, but he had plenty of player-griping to back him up. This is what the millionaire professionals had to say about their ousted manager...

"There were things that transpired over the course of the year that the players were unhappy about,'' A's center fielder Mark Kotsay said. "There's no question there were things throughout the year, but the fact of the matter is that that by the end of the year, the players didn't have the same feeling about the manager as they did at the start of the year..."

"The atmosphere wasn't positive, for some reason,'' Eric Chavez said. "That was hard for us to deal with -- here we are, winning the division, we're banged up but we're still doing what we should be doing, and every time he spoke to us, he'd say how much he appreciated the effort, but then you'd read things where he was always smashing people. ... This negative cloud was just eating at everybody.''

The real gem came from Barry Zito, last seen toting a team-worst 12.27 ERA out of his 3.2 innings pitched against Detroit...

Starter Barry Zito, who is a big believer in the power of positive thinking, said that Macha dwelled too much on what might go wrong and that that was detrimental.

"I think it was a fear of failure. He was a little more focused on the pessimistic stuff than on success.''

Barry. Barry, Barry, Barry. What do you think the manager's job is, anyway? The nature of the job is to be hired to be fired, Barry. Ken's got guys falling out with injuries, a whole season of people being banged up, and Barry Zito wants Ken Macha to dress up like a candy striper and make them feel better.

Positive thinking. You mean like, "I'm positive I've got a guaranteed contract" kind of thinking?

Billy MoneyBall ought to be very thankful he's worshiped around baseball as one of the game's great minds. Because since he took the job in 1998, the A's have been in exactly zero World Series games. When it comes to October, the A's finish out of the money in spite of MoneyBeane's team building brilliance.

Technorati Tags: Fired, Ken Macha, Moneyball

Fassel fossilized by Ravens Well darn, shucks, and other bad words. I thought Jim Fassel would need to get another head coaching job before he'd get fired again. Fortunately he had the prescience to take a job with the Baltimore Ravens as offensive coordinator, where Brian Billick is the head coach.

Back before Daunte Culpepper became Daunte I-N-T with the Vikings, Brian ran the offense in Minnesota. That pretty much consisted of "throw the ball to Randy Moss," but it worked pretty well.

He's been stuck with less-than-NFL caliber quarterbacks until Steve McNair joined the Ravens this year. Air McNair took a monstrous shot in the last game against the Panthers, which would have killed a normal human. But a concussion and neck sprain to Steve just means he'll take two aspirin and start the next game.

Seriously, I expect Number 9 to finish his career standing atop a pile of slain linebackers while swinging a sword and screaming, "There can be only one!"

When he comes back though, it'll be Brian and not Jim doing the play-calling. Brian decided someone needed to take the heat for the 28th-ranked offense in the NFL, and it sure as hell wasn't going to be him...

"[It's] across the board," Billick said in Monday's post-game press briefing about what he'd like to focus on. "We've got to protect better, we've got to run better, we've got to run better routes, we've got to read better."

The Ravens will not look to hire a replacement at offensive coordinator in Fassel's absence. Instead, Billick will assume all of the play-calling duties.

Maybe the Ravens will trade for Moss...oh, sorry Brian, the deadline just passed a few hours ago. Good luck with that offense. Better hope Ray Lewis stays healthy.

Technorati Tags: Fired, Jim Fassel, Are you ready for some football

Please put on some Pelican Briefs Have you ever heard of a fugue state? Me neither, until I saw it on Boing Boing the other day. Confusion about personal identity is part of the symptoms.

I'm not saying Scott Blauvelt is suffering from disassociative problems, other than the desire to disassociate himself from his clothes. He's also a city prosecutor from Hamilton, OH, fired for alleged nudity in a public building.

Now I'm no lawyer, but there's one thing about nudity that I do know. Either you are nude, or you aren't. If you're not nude, then people generally call you either 'partially clothed' or 'the life of the party'....

“The behavior and acts committed by you...have adversely affected the City of Hamilton and the Municipal court and their personnel,� she wrote Tuesday. “Moreover, they have affected the credibility of this office and all of its employees. The damage done is irreparable, so too perhaps is the damage to you personally.�

Blauvelt was charged with two counts of indecent exposure after security cameras captured him walking around nude in Hamilton’s Government Services Center on Oct. 4 and Oct. 5. He was placed on a paid administrative leave Oct. 6.

But wait, there's backstory too!

His lawyer, Mike Gmoser, suggested that Blauvelt’s nude promenades may have resulted from mental illness, medication and/or residual effects of a brain injury he suffered in a car wreck last year.

But authorities said Blauvelt was nude during that wreck, too. Blauvelt told investigators that: “I have been doing similar things for about the past five years but I don’t know why"...

So he's either crazy from genetics, crazy from drugs, or crazy from trauma. And nude. Please counselor, put on some briefs.

Technorati Tags: Fired, Prosecutor, here for the debriefing

Cop fired, wait, not fired, wait, suspended, for lame MySpace page The berg of Watauga, TX, fired police officer Jason Reddick over the content of his MySpace page. I know what you're thinking – shouldn't more people be punished over their MySpace pages? Ugly layouts, embedded loud music, colors that don't just clash but collide like a freight train and a foam cooler, hey, I'm in favor of punishing people for that stuff.

It all started back in May when Reddick's MySpace profile came to official attention...

Jason Reddick was fired in May after the Watauga City Manager found explicit photos and lewd statements on Reddick's MySpace page. Some photos on the site showed Reddick in uniform and contained captions about being drunk.

When a government fires someone, they usually have to jump through hoops to do it. After Reddick appealed, it was discovered the city hadn't