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Fred's choice for the "Someone Fire This Jerk" award
Posted on September 7, 2006 9:24 AM
There are times when someone does things that merit a richly deserved firing. When it doesn't happen, I lose a chance to mock someone who has wholly earned it.
Like that's going to stop me.
So the inaugural award, which I'm going to call the Freddie because Oscar is taken and the Academy's lawyers have no freaking sense of humor. Sorry, no trophy, I'm still upgrading my furniture from 'sleeping bag' to 'futon' here.
Like Mr. Incredible, I believe in equal treatment. Let me present the first ignonimous Freddie recipient, Patricia Dunn of Hewlett-Packard. Seems that Ms. Dunn has been acting like her Crocs are three sizes too small because someone (rumored to be George Keyworth) told a CNET reporter that he, Patty Dunn, the rest of the H-P board, and chief job-cutter Mark Hurd were going to meet for several days at the posh Esmeralda Resort & Spa in Indian Wells, Calif., to craft HP's long-term strategy, which CNET duly reported.
OHMIGODSNO! Executives and board members on a management retreat at an expensive resort and spa, while they're slashing jobs and pension benefits? Why this is simply unprecendented! No one's ever done this before!
No wonder Dunn is on the warpath. But wait, there's more! Ex-board member Tom Perkins has accused HP of questionable ethics and dubious legality (I know, I know, in a corporation? Come on.)
So what's all that about? Click that Tom Perkins link for a look at The Smoking Gun's gleeful revelation. Here's a taste...
According to Perkins, a partner in one of Silicon Valley's leading venture capital firms, the Fortune 500 company's probe included the "fraudulent method" of obtaining the "private telephone records" of board members. The records were obtained, Perkins said, via illegal "pretexting" methods. In his letter, Perkins contended that his own phone records were "hacked" as part of Hewlett-Packard's attempt to discern the source for a January 2006 Cnet.com story about the firm's long-term strategy.Perkins found out in may that Peppermint Patty Dunn was behind this investigation. Next we'll see if CNET milks this story as much as they did that Eric Schmidt hissy fit last year. In the meantime, Patty, enjoy your Freddie Award, and if you need suggestions on what to do with it, I think ol' Tom Perkins will be able to help you with that.
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